I'm teaching a playwrighting class this fall and I have a SUPER fun group of students that I gave just a crazy assignment... which was only met with a few whines... so I did it as well. I thought it was fun. I may, however, have a warped sense of fun. It was definitely a challenge to make sure all of those elements listed were in the story , and that they made sense! Anyway, click the link to read my ALT playwrighting scene entitled Madeline's Summer.
Or don't. It's up to you. It's pointless, mindless fluff and won't change the world, but it's cute, I think.
Madeline’s Summer by Carrie Huckabay
(Lights up on two friends, talking in a coffee shop/juice bar place)
Catherine. …And so there we were, at the end of our so called “date” and neither one of us wanted a goodnight kiss, it was almost as if we forgot—
Madeline. (incredulous) You forgot. Forgot. Right, Catherine. You’ve had a crush on him for 5 years. You’ve been waiting for him, in that time, to notice your very existence. You’ve been excited about this “date” for the past MONTH and you sit there, calmly sipping your cranberry limeade and tell me that you FORGOT to kiss the yummy Colby goodnight? Are you on some sort of prescription medicine I should be made aware of?
Catherine. Have you had one of these? They’re fabulous.
Madeline. Focus, please.
Catherine. Sorry. Um… It’s like we’ve known each other too long, Madeline. He’s been a friend of the family for forever. He’s like my brother. I guess it just took me actually going on a date with him before we figured it out.
Madeline. We? He feels the same way?
Catherine. Absolutely. We talked about it. We even laughed. We’re fine, Maddie.
Catherine. On the up side, I’m thinking of working that disaster of a date into the book.
Madeline. I truly wish that you would quit putting our real life into that wretched novel. Every time I read a proof, I see myself, or recognize a conversation that we’ve had. I’m going to have to quit talking to you.
Catherine. Come on! Be a sport. You’ll be immortalized in print.
Madeline. More like eviscerated. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that your “Melanie” resembles someone else we both know and love. Someone I am extremely close to. I mean, it wouldn’t be any clearer if you made her into a starving photographer with no social life at all, who has to teach at a summer day camp to pay the bills. Oh, this summer’s going to suck.
Catherine. Hush. You have a social life.
Madeline. Playing tag with six year olds is not fulfilling. Name one guy I’ve been out with in the last 3 months.
Catherine. Ummm…. Oh! There was that—
Madeline. The paperboy coming to the door to collect May’s payment was not a date.
Catherine. Oh. Then, no. Can’t.
Madeline. The suckage continues. If my dry spell gets any drier, I’m just gonna move out to the
Catherine. Stop mixing metaphors. Colby’s free. You could try dating him.
Madeline. Shut up. That’s probably bad form anyway, don’t you think?
Catherine. No... Really. Go for it. We wouldn’t be weird. Either one of us.
Madeline. Hmmph. So. Who is it?
Madeline. Do NOT play dumb with me, Catherine Marie Sullivan. Who. Is. The. New guy?
Madeline. Cath, I’ve known you for six years. You’re never without a boy to crush on. Come on. Give. Spill. Dish. (waits) Now, please.
Madeline. Murphy? Murphy-Murphy? Really. Interesting. I never would’ve come up with that one on my own. So. Does he know?
Catherine. Know what?
Madeline. You know, the whole “feigned innocence” thing really works better for people that don’t know you.
Catherine. Yes, he knows I like him. And he knows Colby and I didn’t work out. We’ve been instant messaging each other for awhile. This is going to be a great summer.
Madeline. Shut up.
Catherine. We have! It’s been great. He’s even going to come to the house to set up some firewalls on my computer. I’ve got my whole novel on there so I can’t afford to have it crash.
Madeline. You don’t need help with computers! You’re some kind of savant about them.
Catherine. Yes, Maddie. But he doesn’t know that. Shhh. Here he comes.
Madeline. He’s here?
Catherine. I might have mentioned that he and I could go to lunch after we had coffee.
Madeline. I’m having coffee. You’re having some weird fruity thing that has no place in morning beverages. Fine. Nice. I’m being dumped. I feel oh, so special.
Catherine. Come on. You understand.
Madeline. (sighs) I do, and I’m jealous.
Murphy. (walking up to the girls) Hey. (hugs Cath in a familiar way) I hope I’m not interrupting anything.
Madeline. No, not at all. Hey, Murphy.
Catherine. We’re almost finished. Just solving all of life’s problems, you know.
Madeline. And creating some new ones.
Murphy. Uhhh… okay. Catherine. Hi. Where would you like to go for lunch? What are you hungry for? Anything you like. (sits next to her and puts his arm around her)
Catherine. Italian? That okay?
Murphy. Perfect. I know just the place. (Cath and Murphy put their heads together to talk more intimately when Colby enters. Madeline looks uncomfortable.)
Colby. (clears throat) Hey.
Madeline. Oh, hi, Colby.
Catherine. (head snaps up at his mane) Hey, Colby. (turns back to Murphy)
Colby. Well, it didn’t take you long, did it?
Catherine. Colby. We talked about this. We agreed, didn’t we?
Colby. Yeah, I guess.
Murphy. It doesn’t matter if he agreed or not. You don’t want to date him and that’s all that really matters.
Colby. Why don’t you mind your own business?
Murphy. Catherine is my business, now.
Colby. You are just begging for me to knock you into next Tuesday.
Murphy. Please. You’re not going to hit anyone.
Madeline. (to Catherine) I thought you worked it all out?
Catherine. (looks at Colby) I thought we did too.
Colby. We did. (sighs) We did. I – I’m sorry. (to Madeline) We didn’t work. It was like going out with a sister. I guess – I guess I just want to take care of her still. Like a brother. (to Murphy) You better take care of her, or I’ll pound you.
Murphy. Right. Point taken. It will be my pleasure.
Madeline. Colby? What are you doing here, anyway?
Colby. I came in to get a drink. I’m teaching this summer at the day camp across the street.
Madeline. So am I!
Colby. (looks at her) Small world.
Murphy. Well, listen all. This has been great. Madeline, always a pleasure. Colby. Cath? Ready to go?
Catherine. Starved. Bye, guys. Have fun with the midgets.
Madeline. Right. Thanks. Bye. (under breath) Loser. (Murphy and Catherine exit.)
Colby. They look like something out of Camelot. Without the tights.
Madeline. No kidding. Guinevere and Lancelot. It doesn’t get any more cheesy musical theatre that that. I’m going to spare your masculinity and not ask how you know about Camelot.
Colby. (orders coffee) I’m okay with them going out, but I’m going to draw the line at bursting into song for no reason.
Madeline. Agreed. You should always have a reason to burst into song.
Colby. So. Guess it’s just you and me for the summer.
Madeline. Well, you, me and 50 rugrats.
Colby. Sounds like fun.
Madeline. If by ‘fun’ you mean ‘horrendous torture,’ then uh huh.
Colby. ( gets coffee) I’ll bet we can come up with a way to make you like counseling this summer.
Madeline. Uh huh. Unless it involves sitting in my pyjamas on my couch with a half gallon of Pistachio ice cream in one hand, a bag of Bugles in the other and a marathon of romantic comedies from netflix on DVD, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s not going to be fun.
Colby. We could do that.
Madeline. Um, I think the parents would want their kids to eat something more substantial than that, and The Notebook isn’t exactly Finding Nemo, is it?
Colby. I meant after.
Colby. After the kids go home? Maybe we could do your thing. I like pistachio ice cream.
Madeline. Oh. (realizes) Oh! Well, okay. But you’ll have to bring you own Bugles.
Colby. Done. (looks at her) Shall we?
Madeline. The ankle biters await.
Colby. It’s going to be a great summer.
Madeline. Yeah. It might not be too bad, after all.
Lovely Sunday, all!