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28 November 2007 @ 08:46 am
"Christmas Fun"  
That's what the cast and crew calls A Christmas Carol.  I think an altogether different 'CF' would be more appropriate. 

I finished all of the costumes, done, bizzarely enough, while writing scenes with seegrimand mynuet.  If you know the show, It's Jacob Marley's Link By Link number, where eight ghosts essentially torture the crap out of Scrooge.  The ghosts look scary and all of the costumes I made fit...  well enough, anyway.

However, for those of you that don't know, there are unwritten rules in the theatre, for actors.  And I'm not talking about the no-brainer stuff, like 'memorize your lines and don't bump into the furniture,' or even the stupid superstitions, like you don't bring an umbrella in and open it up onstage,  and you don't say the name of Shakepeare's Scottish play (even though I don't, and certain people on my f-list like to go all capslock-y with it),  and you never, ever say 'good luck,' but  'Merde,' or 'break a leg' (which is, incedentally, elle_blessing, what I want to say to you before all your games, but I fear that wouldn't be the same in sports).
The unwritten rule that I'm talking about is none of those.  Here it is, a little free advice for those of you that care:

Rule # 1 for actors in theatre:  Don't piss off the costumer.

For the costumer is a bitch.  She's mean and vindictive.  If you piss her off, she's likely to go find the most unflattering color she can, in the hottest, scratchiest of wools, and drape it all over you, telling you all the while how FABULOUS you look.

That said, let me tell you about the little toerag that pissed me off. First of all, he can't remember my name, and instead of being kind about it, and saying, "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" he can't be bothered.  This was actually the way it went.

Toerag.  (holds out costume) Hey, um, you.

Carrie.  Carrie.

Toerag.  Yeah.  How does this go?

Carrie.  Well, it's a vest.

Toerag.  ....

Carrie.  Your arms go through the armholes... (thinks) You freaking idiot.

Toerag.  Oh.  (shoves vest at me) Here.

Carrie.  This isn't mine, Toerag. (I actually used his name, but for our purposes here...)

Toerag.  I don't have a hanger.

Carrie.   (points at the z-rack not two feet from him with no less than 50 hangers on it)

Toerag.  Oh, I should do it?

Other Ghost Actor.  (who has watched this exchange with amusement) I think that'd be best, Toerag.

(Then much later, Carrie walks into the dressing room and finds the costumes that she has worked so hard on wadded up in a corner on the floor.)

Carrie.  Whose are these?  

Other Ghost Actor.  Toerag's.

Carrie. (a 'la 'Newman' from Seinfeld)  Toerag!

There's actually more of Toerag and his evils, but I have neither the time nor the energy to type it up.  And he's lucky he didn't really hack me off before I constructed his stuff.  Ohhhhh, yes.  He's lucky.

I feel:: crankycranky
Jazsekuh: Boogiejazsekuh on November 28th, 2007 04:43 pm (UTC)
Sounds like this guy thinks he's Dustin Hoffman instead of Toerag appearing as random ghost # 3. Maybe he needs a diagram of how to put a vest on with step by step instructions written on it.
Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on November 28th, 2007 05:39 pm (UTC)
He needs something. A kick in the shin, a sharp stick in the eye...
autumnrhythm30: Jim slapautumnrhythm30 on November 28th, 2007 04:50 pm (UTC)
That's it. I think a costume change is in order. mmhmmm. Maybe a tutu? I suppose that can be explained.

I would have been much less polite. I am short on patience and would have been all sarcastic and I would have eventually been like, "Who are you again? Oh... that's right NO ONE!"
Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on November 28th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)
I thought I was very polite. I resisted my first instinct, to strangle him with the vest.
Sharlenemynuet on November 28th, 2007 05:02 pm (UTC)
I vote you make sure he gets the old greasepaint that smells like clay and old ladies.
Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on November 28th, 2007 05:38 pm (UTC)
Evil, but fair.
Elle Blessingway: Wish Me Monsterselle_blessing on November 28th, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC)
Some people! *huffs & growls*

And yeah, "break a leg" isn't exactly what I need to hear pregame, lol!! Good luck works for most athletes, I think, but being the diehard Buffy fan that I am, I've always liked 'monsters!' :D

Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on November 28th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
Alright then, MONSTERS!
Elle Blessingwayelle_blessing on November 28th, 2007 10:08 pm (UTC)
nbaeker: sword jamesnbaeker on November 28th, 2007 07:46 pm (UTC)
In our theatre group waaay back in highschool it was always "gluck" which was 'g'luck" but really fast so it sounds like a cluck.

That guy needs to have itching powder "accidentally" dumped onto his crumpled costume on the floor. or some sort of electric shocking rig.

on a brighter note... James Marsden is wanting to do battle for you... :D
Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on November 28th, 2007 10:29 pm (UTC)
Itching powder? That has merit, my dear.

*huggles James Marsden with a sword*
Numbaby: wickednumbaby on November 29th, 2007 02:30 pm (UTC)

Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on November 29th, 2007 02:39 pm (UTC)
Enchanted, I think? I have not seen it, as of yet. But I will, SOON.
Brendan: Firefly - Jayne - Gorrammit.brendanm720 on November 28th, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC)
Ah... Toerag.

The Hero of Canton here [indicates icon] said he'd let you borrow Vera for a couple of minutes, but he's only gonna let you use the rock salt.
Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on November 28th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
Ah, Jayne. *sigh*

There is just something about that man holding a gun.

And just rock salt? I'm torn between being pouting and being touched that you don't want me to go to prison.
Brendan: Firefly - Laughbrendanm720 on November 29th, 2007 05:49 am (UTC)
Oh, you'll go to prison...

But it'll be for Assault with the Intent to do Greivous Bodily Harm (or whatever they call it in your neck of the woods) instead of Murder 1.

So, 3-5 instead of a life sentence.


In other news, I take it that you are watching Chuck then? Seems like he pulls his sidearm in each episode.

dragonsangel68dragonsangel68 on November 28th, 2007 10:13 pm (UTC)
It sounds like Toerag needs to bring his mummy to rehearsals with him, so she can dress him and help him hang his costume ;)

Or the costumer could do something completely vicious, yet entirely called for ;)
Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on November 28th, 2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
He does need his Mom. What a little stinker.

I'm still thinking about it.
(Anonymous) on November 29th, 2007 01:46 am (UTC)
I have TOTAL confidence in your ability to inflict the appropriate evil upon Toerag before the play ends. Have you concidered doing something vile to his costume?
Carrie Leigh: evil laughcarrie_leigh on November 29th, 2007 02:42 pm (UTC)
Re: retribution
It's nice to know I can count on my dear Mum to be on my side and have confidence in my general wickedness. :)
(Anonymous) on November 29th, 2007 01:49 am (UTC)
The previous comment was from Mom. Forgot to sign.
Embellishedembe11ished on November 29th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
Have you considered resewing the seam in his pants so they are just a little too tight? You could force him to be ghostly with a wedgie. Or would that be too subtle?
Carrie Leigh: We're actorscarrie_leigh on November 29th, 2007 02:43 pm (UTC)
*snort* I like the way you think!
Numbaby: dean's batmannumbaby on November 29th, 2007 03:30 pm (UTC)
Might I suggest a stabbing?
Carrie Leigh: snark of warcarrie_leigh on November 29th, 2007 03:33 pm (UTC)
We'll see. It depends. I was thinking something a bit more subtle, like hanging him up-side down from the fly loft, but you know, your thing does have merit. :)
Numbaby: dean's batmannumbaby on November 29th, 2007 03:37 pm (UTC)
And by "merit", we mean pretty, shiny, sharp knives, yes? The stud in my icon can lend us some.

And anyway, once I am Queen of the World, subtlety will be optional. We shall "cull" where & when we like.
Carrie Leigh: john cusakcarrie_leigh on November 29th, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC)
And I get to be princess, right? We get rid of all the stupid people first. They can line up here--------->
I'm just meairmidm on December 1st, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC)
Poor you. He needs a swift kick, definitely. Or something equally as painful.