Carrie Leigh (carrie_leigh) wrote,
Carrie Leigh
carrie_leigh

Day 5 Of: Home Alone With Two Small Boys

And it's f-locked because my MOTHER called to yell at me (I'm 34, btw) because she's sure that one of you is going to drive to Amarillo, break into our house and kill me in my sleep because I mentioned in my LJ (that is read by tens of people every single day) that my husband is out of town...

Today's drama begins when Carrie was awakened at the ungodly hour of 5:15 a.m.by her children banging away in the kitchen (Curse you Daylight Savings Time.  We abhor and deplore you and your circadian rhythm screwing qualities with every fiber of our being.)
*********
(Even though Carrie hates screaming across the house, she felt that at this point it was justified)

Carrie.  (eyes and tip of nose peeking out from the covers)  WHAT THE CRAP ARE Y'ALL DOING?  It's five o'clock in the stinking morning!  GO BACK TO BED!  (Carrie put the covers back over her head, feeling that she was quite pleasant after being awakened at such an unholy hour.)

Ethan.  (calls from the kitchen joyfully)  We're making our LUNCH!

(Carrie peeks out again, moans and puts the covers back over her head, then imagines what her kitchen will look like if she doesn't drag her ass out of bed.  She gets up, snarls, and goes into the kitchen.)

(AT RISE:  Kitchen Int.  Formerly very clean kitchen looks as if hit by atomic bomb.  Peanut Butter and jelly are smeared artfully on several surfaces, there is an open package of Justice League Graham Crackers and a Open box of Capri Sun in the middle of the floor.  Superman looks smugly at Carrie as if to say, "I wouldn't have let this happen on my watch."  Carrie sweeps him into the trash.)

Carrie.  (growls)  Do you want breakfast?

Ethan.  No, we already had a pop tart!

Aaron.  And Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!

Ethan.  (looks at AJ like he's on crack) Shhhhhhhh!

(Carrie resists the urge to scream, or throttle them, or strap them to their beds til 7:00, all of which might result in a visit from Child Protective Services.  Carrie shoos the boys off to take a shower, makes a pot of coffee, ('cause GUH.  It's 5:23) and cleans up the mess.)

Number of times I had to tell Aaron to button his shirt.................................3

Number of times I had to tell Ethan to comb his hair....................................4

 Number of times I called Kate a bad dog for eating AJ's toast...................1

Number of pieces of toast made (because evidently pop tarts and chocolate peanut butter cups didn't fill the void.......................................6

Times I wanted to scream.................................................................................42

Number of days I'm going on vacation when Nolan Kyle gets back...........as damn many as I want.

Tags: drama, horrific adult story, rant
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