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28 August 2016 @ 05:17 pm
You Know Nothing, Ethan Conrad.  

(Today's play took place Friday, wherein my high school junior came home for lunch and began the process of making himself a sandwich.


Ethan. This sandwich is going to be awesome. Maybe the best sandwich, ever. I wonder who invented the sandwich? That guy was probably a boss.

Me. It was the Earl of Sandwich.

Ethan. What?

Me. The inventor of the sandwich. It was the Earl of Sandwich.

Ethan. Oh, okay, Mom. Are we just going to pull stuff out of our butts, now? If we are, I say the Earl of Hot Dogs invented hot dogs. (scoffs as only a 16 year-old can) And if Sandwich were a real place, (snorts) that's totally where I'd go for my next vacation.

Me. (Inserts "who invented the sandwich?" Into the almighty Google. Shows the offspring.)

Ethan. (Looks at Wikipedia) Ha! It was John Montagu!

Me. (Patiently) And his title?

Ethan. The... fourth Earl of Sandwich. How do you even know this stuff?

Because, child, I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am.

nbaeker: sam smiling lovenbaeker on August 29th, 2016 04:14 am (UTC)
Oh; boys.

Efrayim will be hitting that full teen swing soon, and that terrifies me. You always handle it with such grace and humour, and you give me hope. <3
WolfStarwolfstar07 on August 30th, 2016 06:13 am (UTC)
HA HA! My goodness, to think that sandwiches had to be invented. So TWO in one month? AND he's in 11th grade? How did that happen? You should have seen the existential crisis I had when I realized I was the same age when my youngest cousin was born as my mom when she had me. There are people in this world I'm old enough to have birthed! Ahem, I am NOT having another existential crisis, thank you.