Carrie Leigh (carrie_leigh) wrote,
Carrie Leigh
carrie_leigh

A Completely Unauthorized and Unsolicited Fall Movie Poster Preview

I was perusing the 'net this morning, looking at the fall movie previews, and lamenting the fact that the summer movies weren't all that I'd hoped for.

Just so you know, I wouldn't hold out hope that the fall is going to bring us fantastic film experiences. Yet I blogged anyway.

1. A Dangerous Method: A look at how the intense relationship between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud gives birth to psychoanalysis.

Could be fascinating. Or a yawnfest.

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE KIERA KNIGHTLY A SANDWICH? PLEASE?

Sorry.

2. Footloose: In case you missed it in the eighties, they're doing it again. Please watch that version, tiny youths of today. It's worth the hour and a half investment of your time. In the eighties version, Kevin Bacon played the title role. That was way back before he started taking only bad guy or douchebag roles.

I miss those days.

I really, really, reallyreallyreally hope this movie doesn't suck as bad as I think it will.

Really, really.

3. Fright Night: A teenager believes his new neighbor is a vampire.

Okay, here's another 80's remake. Which goes to show what my college professor said is true: There are no new stories. They've all been told. And evidently Hollywood likes to retell them every twenty years or so.

However. Colin Farrell? David Tennant? Yes, please. ....But I dunno. I don't like horror movies, yet I liked the first Fright Night. Chris Sarandon was supah scary.

4. The Ides of March: An idealistic staffer for a newbie presidential candidate gets a crash course on dirty politics during his stint on the campaign trail. It's based on a play. (Not necessarily Julius Caesar.)

Hmm. Let's see. Title is a reference to a Shakespearean tragedy, but it has the lovely eye candy of George Clooney and Ryan Gosling. Yeah, I'm going, even if it does have to do with politics. (And I could really do without the "A GEORGE CLOONEY FILM" on the bottom of the poster. It seems self-serving George. Kind of a loser move.

5. The Skin I Live In: A brilliant plastic surgeon, haunted by past tragedies, creates a type of synthetic skin that withstands any kind of damage. His guinea pig: a mysterious and volatile woman who holds the key to his obsession.

I'm not going to this one based on sheer grammatical principles. And it looks really bizarre. Oh, come on, even if it WAS "The Skin in Which I Live," I still prefer Antonio in cartoon cat form.


6. Marilyn: I'm not doing a summary. You can figure it out.

I'm skeptical, is all I'm saying. Dear This Movie: Please don't suck.

7. Stay Cool: IMDB says this movie came out in 2009. I don't know what it's about. But Sean Astin has his hair in foils. Bold move.

That can't bode well, can it?

8. Texas Killing Fields: In the Texas bayous, a local homicide detective teams up with a cop from New York City to investigate a series of unsolved murders.

Raise your hand if you didn't know that Texas had bayous. Or that New Yorkers team up with Texans to collaborate all the time.

Bottom line: I live in Texas (though not in a bayou), I have a field across the street from my house, I don't like horror movies because I have an overactive imagination, and I will not be seeing this movie.

9. The Three Musketeers: Sigh.

Is that a little bauble hanging from Orlando Bloom's moustache? It's like the Louis the fourteenth version of a nipple ring, maybe.

10. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: In the bleak days of the Cold War, espionage veteran George Smiley is forced from semi-retirement to uncover a Soviet agent within MI6's echelons.

They couldn't come up with a better title? It sound like someone with an identity disorder. "I'm an inventor! No, I'll hem your pants! No, I'll protect the country! No, I'm CIA!"

Gary Oldman is awesome, though. Even if the movie is crap (unlikely) he'll be amazing to watch, as ever.

11. What's Your Number?: A woman looks back at the past twenty men she's had relationships with in her life and wonders if one of them might be her one true love. (This poster is the scandalous FRENCH version. Ahem.)

Oddly enough, this is the one I hold out hope for. I know it won't be any good, cinematically speaking. But I love a romcom. And I have a thing for Chris Evans and his pectoral muscles. And his biceps.

But I'll wait to see those on video, most probably.
Tags: movie review, movies
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