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24 August 2011 @ 09:15 pm
Costuming: It's not a job for the easily embarrased.  
My life, since I took the job of costumer for La Cage Aux Folles, has not been boring. Stressful, perhaps, maybe a little trying, rife with nightmares, but definitely interesting. And quite probably, the job has made people think I'm a little strange. (Not news for my tens of readers, but I digress.) As I was saying, the day to day aspects of costuming a drag show are entertaining.

Take today.

No, really. Take today. I'm done with it.


So, first things first this morning, I get my hair cut and colored. Honestly, the inch of grey roots was beginning to affect my self-esteem. I leave the brilliant Arviel's shop, ready for the day. My first stop is JoAnn Fabrics, where I'm getting some silver trim, a few white feather boas, and some bra extenders for some of the costumes. While I'm there, my eye was caught by the breast augmentation doohickeys.

Now, me being who I am with all that God has blessed me, have never really had the occasion to peruse the chicken cutlets. Here was the conversation I had with the store employee.

Employee. (Looks at the product in my hand, then at what a romance novelist might call my 'ample bosom,' then up to my face) Can I help you with something?

Carrie. I'm just deciding which one of these I need.

Employee. (incredulous) Are they... for you?

(She says this like she's borderline offended - and I guess I understand, since if I were to use the product, my brassiere size would be somewhere along a triple F.)

Carrie. (Raises eyebrow and wonders how it is POSSIBLY any of this girl's business) No.

Employee. Thank God.

Carrie. (chooses to stay silent) ...

Employee. Who are they for?

Again, how is it possibly any of her business? So I go into the spiel. "I'm costuming La Cage Aux Folles at the theatre. You know the film 'The Birdcage?' Yeah, well it's the musical version of that. Yes, there are boys dressed up as girls. Yep, drag queens. Yes, there are men in Amarillo who are doing that. Uh huh, two of them are straight. Okay, well thanks for your help. Byeeeeee."

I've gone through more or less the same version of that, over and over since I started this escapade.

It happened again at the register. I guess most people don't come in and buy five feather boas at a time. When pressed - because I suppose people MUST KNOW WHAT THE BOAS ARE FOR (I totally would) - I go through my explanation again.

The responses run the gamut from offended to amused, which I suppose is normal for this sort of show and the area in which we live. But the capper today was when I went into Toys R Us (which actually has a backwards R in the title, but damned if I know how to type that) to buy Nerf softballs.

Nerf softballs. Cheaper than chicken cutlets by a long shot, and the appropriate size that when sawed in half, they fill up a strapless 36 C. Brilliance.

So I'm digging around in the ball cage, trying to find 6 of these little darlings, when an employee offers to help.

Dear God. Deliver me, please.

I accept his help graciously, until he asks what I'm going to do with six Nerf softballs.


I came so close to saying "BOOBS," and flouncing off.

Okay, fine, I didn't.

So I tell him I'm going to cut them in half, sew them into strapless bras and make six boys into girls for a play. I say this with my chin jutted out defiantly, like I DARE HIM to make a comment.

Then I cave, and say, "Sorry, I hate to be the pervert on the Nerf Aisle."

He responds with, "No, that's not weird. There's a creepy guy that comes in here every week buying girl action figures and dolls by the cartload. HE'S weird."

Wow. Who knew Toys R Us was such a seedy underbelly of corruption, right?

So anyway, yeah. Interesting times. Definitely interesting.
I am:: bed
I feel:: tiredtired
I hear:: the dogs snoring
Jessica K Malfoy: nature: pink trees and old fashioned carjessicakmalfoy on August 25th, 2011 02:19 am (UTC)
i think next time you should flounce. for sure!!!!!
Carrie Leigh: Glamour Girlcarrie_leigh on August 25th, 2011 02:20 am (UTC)
Next time I believe I will. ;)
Comic Book Goddess: cats - kitten in a teacuprainpuddle13 on August 25th, 2011 02:36 am (UTC)
You'd be surprised at what goes on in a Toys R Us...

I have a male friend who is in every week for My Little Ponies...
Carrie Leigh: dramatic headdeskcarrie_leigh on August 25th, 2011 02:40 am (UTC)
Oh, dear.
Comic Book Goddess: ch - i have a hammerrainpuddle13 on August 25th, 2011 02:42 am (UTC)
Oh yes, he's very big in this My Little Pony thing - goes to conventions and does all these customizations...
Carrie Leigh: morgana's evil smirkcarrie_leigh on August 25th, 2011 02:43 am (UTC)
Takes all kinds, huh?
Comic Book Goddess: rob - gqmf in carrainpuddle13 on August 25th, 2011 02:45 am (UTC)
I'm not one to cast stones, what with my adoration of comic books...

He's just so cute about it because he runs all of his customizations by me. He just did a Bertie Botts pony. It was cute, but I don't get the pony thing. At all.
Carrie Leigh: The Abysscarrie_leigh on August 25th, 2011 02:47 am (UTC)
No, I'm not judging. It's not like he's hurting anyone, right?

But I didn't get that pony thing when I WAS a kid.
Comic Book Goddess: batman - van gogh batsignalrainpuddle13 on August 25th, 2011 02:49 am (UTC)
I wasn't into girly things - I had no Care Bears, My Little Ponies or anythin Strawberry Shotcake. I did the Barbie thing for about six months and I went back to my Tonka trucks and comic books :P
Jandy the Gnome Whisperer: Haven - Naudreyjandjsalmon on August 25th, 2011 04:11 am (UTC)
LOLOLOLOL! HE'S weird - YES YES he is!

Toys Я Us is definitely where all the pervy people are hanging out, obviously.
Carrie Leigh: practically perfect in every waycarrie_leigh on August 25th, 2011 12:13 pm (UTC)
Of course YOU would know how to get a backwards R on the page.
Jandy the Gnome Whisperer: BH - Mitchell Smirk 1964jandjsalmon on August 26th, 2011 03:35 am (UTC)
I love google - and it's a letter in the Russian alphabet - so I just googled it. I can't help it. *g*
Elle Blessingwayelle_blessing on August 26th, 2011 02:22 am (UTC)
Nerf boob balls. You win.

And srsly. Creepy guy is creepy.
slitherhither: barechested_boydslitherhither on August 26th, 2011 05:31 pm (UTC)
You know that people can just sense how interesting you are, and can't help prying.