6:15 - Wake due to wailing coming from my 11 year old alarm clock. Hit snooze button. Make mental note to get a new clock before school starts. Cannot bear to hear that awful sound every day for another year.
6:20 - Hit the snooze again.
6:25 - Hit snooze once more. Tell self it's the last time.
6:30 - Hit snooze again.
6:35 - Drag self out of bed. Morning ablutions. Look at self in the mirror. Curse puffy eyes. Contemplate going back to bed. Make coffee and put great big metal spoons in the freezer.
6:45 - Sip coffee and hold cold spoons to my eyelids, alternately.
6:55 - Puffiness abated. Begin beauty treatment - involving hair, make up, smoke, mirrors, duct tape and bailing wire.
8:00 - Dress. Curse and sigh. Consider wearing summer clothes, fall issue be damned.
8:30 - See that children are dressed and ready for day. Pat children on the head. Love children.
8:45 - Depart for theatre.
8:55 - Child 1 tells me that he's forgotten lunchbox. Child 1 dead to me.
9:00 - Drop off Child 1 at theatre camp. Glare at him a little for good measure.
9:05 - Decide that morning is too much to take without more caffeine. Stop at Starbucks. Get in drive thru line. Sit, stunned, when stupid sorority girl in cream colored Honda CUTS in line in front of me.
9:06 - Sit, stunned, when Old People in Lexus behind me start honking.
9:07 - Call sorority girl a name. It was then she was christened Stupid Sorority Girl.
9:07 - Explain to Child 2 why I called SSG stupid.
9:08 - Agree with Child 2 that it isn't nice to call people stupid.
9:09 - Hair girl calls, asking where I am. Was supposed to be at appointment nine minutes ago. Apologize. Reschedule. Need more coffee for the day, pronto.
9:15 - Get iced coffee. Bask in moment of wonderfulness. Go back home to get Child 1 his lunch. Scowl.
9:45 - Get back to the theatre. Touch up hair and makeup. Wish there was such a thing as temporary Botox.
10:00 - Have interview with magazine. Talk about myself. A lot. Wonder if I sound like as big a dork as I think I am. Stunned when interviewer tells me she likes my blog. Wonder if woman and I are friends on facebook? Wonder how she found blog. Wonder who else reads. Get off on mental Big Brother tangent.
10:20 - Begin photo session.
10:25 - FALL OFF BLOCK on which was standing. Feel like ASS. Try to play it cool that I didn't fall like a big ol' nerd. Fail.
10:30. End photos. Proclaimed cute. Feel like Care Bear on unicorn. Skeptical of what finished product will look like, as was hot mess. The literal sort, not figurative, good kind.
10:45 - Thank AD for letting me crash the lobby of theatre for interview/photoshoot. Find out that I'm costuming La Cage Aux Folles. Do a mental, internal happy dance.
11:00 - Agree to help arrange costume storage next day.
11:05 - Watch two exceedingly cute numbers for Camp Broadway show. Die of all the cute.
11:20 - Leave theatre. Get lunch for tragically bored Child 2. Eat a salad. Facebook.
12:05 - Leave for rescheduled hair appointment. Get hair girl a blueberry tea as apology for missing earlier appointment.
12:40 - Get hair cut and colored. Lament that the inch of grey won't be covered in earlier photos. Shrug. Decide it doesn't matter.
2:40 - Decide to window shop until Child 1's camp ends. Get free Vera Bradley purse mirror for my trouble.
2:55 - Approach Black Sequoia in parking lot. See HUGE, ENORMOUS SCRATCH ON DOOR. Touch said scratch, and then remember that drove Red Jeep today. Roll eyes. Nerdiness CONFIRMED.
2:56 - Get happy that MY car isn't scratched, wherever it is.
3:05 - Drag unfocused Child 1 from camp, as cut hair was making self itchy and thought might spontaneously burst from uncomfortableness before getting to shower.
3:30 - Shower. Dress. Look in mirror. Do not look like Care Bear, on unicorn or any other equestrian-type thing, with or without horns. Shrug, decide it doesn't matter. Make plans to eat dinner at pool with family. Spend next two months waiting to see what photos look like, and re-examining what I told interviewers. Pray I don't sound like idiot.
3:35 - Shrug. Decide it doesn't matter.