My first reaction? 'Oh, heck no. I'm still cool.'
Which is a dead giveaway for someone who is patently not cool to say.
I've noticed for some time that my behavior, what comes out of my mouth, specifically when dealing with my kiddos, sounds a lot like the advice that someone once gave me. I think I've even called my sister and said, "Oh, my gosh! I'm MOM!" I give you a list of examples, for your Wednesday evening perusal:
1. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else.
I don't know that this was the truth coming out of my mother's mouth... it certainly shouldn't have been. But when I say it, it's about half true. I don't trust everyone else, but I also don't trust the kid that's snowing me, you know? I'm wary, is what I'm saying.
2. You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders!
I've engineered a cocktail of well thought out lists and reminder systems to cure that in me, presently. My children, not so much.
3. In or out. Make a decision.
Mom didn't care for me going in and out forty times a day. I have to say, I feel the same way. It goes hand in hand with number ten, don'tcha know.
4. I'm sorry, life isn't fair.
I think one of my college professors coined the phrase, "If you want fair, go to heaven or play football." 'Cause life ain't. Deal with it, kid.
5. I don't care who started it. You stop it.
The joy of having more than one child. I can't see a cure for this. Eventually, I quit blaming things on my sister. I can only hope the boys will do the same one day.
6. Go clean your room.
I think I actually remember thinking, 'When I have kids, I'm NEVER going to make them clean their room!' Heh. Pthththt. Famous last words. If I didn't make Ethan and AJ take a pass at that pit at least once a week, the health department would be at our doorstep.
7. Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
Hee. I don't really say this. I just think it's funny.
8. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.. I got this from both the parentals. Though Dad's was somewhat differently phrased as, "Don't do things half-assed."
9. Pretty is as pretty does. Don't be a navelgazer.
This is somewhat modified as I have little boys, but they're too concerned with looks, sometimes. Though sometimes, I have to specify using soap and shampoo when they shower. :P
10. Were you born in a barn? Shut the door! We aren't air conditioning the entire neighborhood.
I've said this. Recently. The boys are currently grounded right now for JUST THIS REASON. Because COME ON! We can't air condition the entire outdoors, now can we?