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15 March 2011 @ 09:21 am
Memory...  
If you saw the title of this blog post and belted out "...All alone in the mooooonlight!" a la Betty Buckley, then... you would be like me. Ten points. Brava.

This is not a post about overused lines from musicals of the eighties. Some of you sigh with relief. Some of you are saying, "Darn it!" I fall into both categories, oddly enough. No, I'm using the quiet of my home during this Spring Break morning to talk about memory.

Or the lack thereof.

I had a brief conversation with another actor last night who is in the midst of memorizing Mamet's American Buffalo. That's tough stuff, right there. Lots of words, and conversational dialogue, being interrupted a lot, if I remember correctly. He said that he's struggling, and that got me thinking. My memory isn't what it used to be.

It's selective memory failure, because I still remember entire passages from college plays (My dialogue and others). I remember the telephone number from the house I grew up in. I remember scholarship audition monologues. I remember (usually) without fail, when I have an appointment to get my hair colored. ( I do NOT get my hair colored! I don't know what you're talking about! This is all natural!)

But the things I don't remember? Oh, LHM. That'd fill up a few buckets, if you know what I mean.

First of all, can I tell you a secret? Since this blog is read by literally tens of people daily it won't be much of one anymore, but here it is: I DON'T REMEMBER YOUR NAME.

If you think I might be talking about you, you'd be right.

Unless I use it when I greet you, chances are, I've forgotten it. There are people that I know, that I LOVE, adore and cherish their friendship beyond words, and when I look at them, their name goes RIGHT out of my head. I've become that girl. The girl that uses sweetie, babe and darlin' when I'm talking to you. Or worse, "Hey, you! How are YOU?"

That "you" is just me mentally scrambling for your name and failing miserably to come up with it.

My students know that it doesn't lessen my love for them when I point to them in the middle of class and make a sound of agony because I can't remember what they're called. It has nothing to do with them, or you, dear reader. It has to do with the fact that the old girl's getting up there in years and we're gonna be headed toward the glue factory, soon.

Hm. That horse metaphor doesn't work with people.

Anyway, another thing I don't remember is why I'm irritated with you. I know that I'm pissed off, but the why and wherefore are fuzzy. This works to Nolan's advantage all the time, because if I'm irritated and can't tell him why, I usually just give it up altogether.

Also, some of you facebook friends? I don't remember you. Nope. Not even a little. I see that we have umpteen gillion friends in common that went to our high school/college/place of employment, and I go ahead and click that little button that says that I remember who you are, but rest assured that I do not. I do love that little button, but most of the time, it's a lie. I live in delirious oblivion.

That'd be a good name for a band. Delirious Oblivion. Dibs on that one.

The reason for this long, rambling, nebulous confessional (sorry), is that I now have a boatload of very difficult music to memorize. Words with music is easy. The harmony? Well, let's just say I'll have to listen to it at every available opportunity until the show goes up if I don't want to be that actress on the stage just mouthing the words.

Not that I've ever done that.

Well, you can't prove it.

What I'm saying is that my memory is all full up, for the moment, and so I won't be remembering your name.

Or why I'm mad at you.

So it all works out. :)
 
 
I feel:: awakeawake
 
 
 
Ayla: Sillyabitofayla on March 15th, 2011 02:52 pm (UTC)
As a result of a nasty head injury, my memory is for the birds too. Tell me to go to the store to buy pot roast, potatoes, and coke and you'll get two out of three.

I may remember your name, but I swear that isn't the face you had last time.

Remember when we were 12 and we went roller blading all over town? I do. However, what I did yesterday is fuzzy.

I called you? Oh... I don't know why. Maybe it had to do with the... no...

So don't feel bad dearie. You aren't getting old. :)
Carrie Leigh: bad examplecarrie_leigh on March 15th, 2011 07:45 pm (UTC)
Head injury. Maybe that's it.

I don't remember getting one of those, but you know, that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Jandy the Gnome Whisperer: Office *tackle hugs*jandjsalmon on March 15th, 2011 03:19 pm (UTC)
Aww. I have a totally selective memory too. I could tell you who the King of England was in 1237 or who married who in the whole sordid tale of the War of the Roses - but I forget Jay's work schedule on a regular basis. He gets so cranky about that. *le sigh*
Mala13oct on March 15th, 2011 06:39 pm (UTC)
Hahaha I do the same thing with R. Sorry I called you at the wrong time, I forgot which time zone you are in always gets him all pissed every. single. time.
(no subject) - carrie_leigh on March 15th, 2011 07:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jandjsalmon on March 15th, 2011 09:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jandjsalmon on March 15th, 2011 09:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on March 15th, 2011 03:24 pm (UTC)
HA! My name has NEVER been forgotten!! I suppose I transcend far beyond the plebeians!!
-Brooks
Carrie Leigh: Evil will triumphcarrie_leigh on March 15th, 2011 07:46 pm (UTC)
Stealing my car back in the day has its perks, huh?
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on March 16th, 2011 02:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
stardust_20: Castle - Kate/dorkystardust_20 on March 15th, 2011 03:49 pm (UTC)
I know exactly what you mean and have no issues with you forgetting me at all. Chances are I probably don't remember your name either ... Half the time I think of my live journal friends as their screen names and even picture them as their frequently used icons. It's hard to do with people in the room in front of you though, that whole icon thing.

I like Delirious Oblivion. Can I join the band? I'm a pretty good singer and an awesome keyboardist. (not to mention I'm a whiz at writing and arranging music). :)
Carrie Leigh: kick asscarrie_leigh on March 15th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
Awesome. You're in the band. :D
(no subject) - stardust_20 on March 16th, 2011 06:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Elle Blessingway: Pirate: Maddeningly Unhelpfulelle_blessing on March 15th, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
I've always been horrible with names. Always. I'm not good at retaining information that I receive verbally/audio, and names often fall into that (you get them in conversations usually). If I SEE your name though? It's a lot more likely I'll remember it. Highly probable, even. Visual learner.

Good luck with your memorizations! I'm rooting for you!!
Carrie Leigh: Glamour Girlcarrie_leigh on March 15th, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
I'm a visual learner, too. I remember what I've seen and where on the page I've seen it.

Sadly, that does not help with people's faces.
(no subject) - elle_blessing on March 15th, 2011 11:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jandjsalmon on March 15th, 2011 09:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - elle_blessing on March 15th, 2011 11:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Mala13oct on March 15th, 2011 06:40 pm (UTC)
I get where you're coming from. I'm really, really bad with names and faces too.
Carrie Leigh: Mini Scottycarrie_leigh on March 15th, 2011 07:49 pm (UTC)
Good. Solidarity, sister. Strength in numbers.
seegrim: Yay!  Elephant on trampolineseegrim on March 15th, 2011 07:22 pm (UTC)
First off, congrats on another musical adventure. Sounds like a good time. :)

And as far as the memory thing goes, know that I feel your pain. I'm pretty sure my memory could take your memory in a cage match.
Carrie Leigh: Laverne and Shirleycarrie_leigh on March 15th, 2011 07:50 pm (UTC)
I think it'll be a good time. If not, then it's good for me to have something that makes me work.

Memory cage match. The mind reels.

*loves you*
(no subject) - jandjsalmon on March 15th, 2011 09:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Alluring_Twilight: BlairBlackDressalluringt_light on March 15th, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC)
I have issues with remembering people too. Normally, at a party if someone introduces themselves, chances are two minutes later I would've forgotten their name.
Carrie Leigh: Awkward Luke and Darthcarrie_leigh on March 16th, 2011 01:46 pm (UTC)
Me, too! I'm glad to know I'm in such good company.
nbaeker: efrayimnbaeker on March 16th, 2011 07:33 am (UTC)
Just here to say i miss you, Carrie. And also, you better believe i sing Memory to efrayim almost nightly.
Carrie Leigh: Beautiful Womencarrie_leigh on March 16th, 2011 01:47 pm (UTC)
Sweet Nicole!

I miss you, too. Hope you and your family are doing well.
(no subject) - nbaeker on March 16th, 2011 05:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
goeungurl: glamorousgoeungurl on March 17th, 2011 04:07 am (UTC)
Haha. I love your honesty. I don't do well with names either. You don't know how many times I've been introduced to someone just to turn around 1 minute later and ask their name again.

And my name is Diane. Just in case. ;)
Carrie Leigh: my muse is on a bendercarrie_leigh on March 17th, 2011 02:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, I know you. You're one of my favorites. ;)
dragonsangel68: Jason Issacsdragonsangel68 on March 17th, 2011 01:01 pm (UTC)
My mind is like a sieve with names. Spoken one minute, gone the next!
Carrie Leigh: 333 I'm only half evilcarrie_leigh on March 17th, 2011 02:38 pm (UTC)
Glad to know I'm in good company!