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04 March 2011 @ 08:57 am
Mr. Malaprop  
I bring you a post with a story, this morning.

I've shared what I call 'cute kid stories' with you over the years; I think they're cute, anyway. You people might think they're moronic and I'm wasting my computer's battery relaying it - but whatever. Here's another.

Ethan and Aaron are the kings of filling in words to songs when they don't know the correct lyrics. I confess that I do that, too; most singers have horrible diction, so unless you Google the words or listen a bazillion times, who can tell? With everything being electronic nowadays, you can't flip open the tape case, take out the insert and look at the words. (Yes. I just said TAPE CASE. I also had an 8 track or two. I am old. I'm starting to be okay with that.) Anyway, Ethan has "put another dot in the juicebox, baby," and then in turn corrected ME on Journey lyrics, but it's Aaron who is the focus of the malapropism, today.

He came in and struck a pose, first of all.

Lord, have mercy.

Then he rapped (I cannot believe I just typed that), "I wake up in the morning feeling like today."

I frown. That sounds like a song by the singer Kee-dollar sign-HA. I wouldn't normally know this, not being familiar with popular music past 1995, or if I'm completely honest, maybe something like 1988, but thanks to Glee (a show I watch when the kiddos are in school), the great music equalizer, I'm in the know.

I say to my child, "How do you feel 'like today?' That doesn't make any sense."

He replies, "I don't know. I didn't make up the words." (Smart aleck.)

I feel a little proud when I tell him the correct lyric. "I wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy."

Aaron makes a quizzical face. He mutters, "And that makes sense? What does that mean?"

Ethan has been smirking during this time, listening to the two very white people on the other side of the kitchen island. He asks, "Who is P. Diddy, Mom?" He asks this like it's a quiz. Like he's all of a sudden the world-wise fifth grader, about to show up his mother in matters of pop culture.

I, being me, cannot let this happen. I used to OWN all games of Trivial Pursuit. I all but got a degree in it, for heaven's sake. So I scramble, thinking, "Who the heck IS P. Diddy? He's a black guy, right? Is he a rapper? A fashion designer? Didn't his name used to be something else? I'm SURE that his name used to be something else and he changed it. Like Prince when he went to the symbol thingy that no one knew what to do with. I'm glad he's Prince again. That's just easier for everyone. But P. Diddy... is he that guy on the Pepsi Max commercials? No, no, that's Snoopy something... Damn it!"

But that was all in my head. I say confidently, "He's another singer." ('Singer' might be used loosely, here.)

Ethan squints. He knows something is up, but since that's technically the right answer, he lets it go.

Aaron shakes his head and dismisses all of it. "I like my words better," he says.

In hindsight, his caused a lot less grief for me. I say to my youngest, "Rock on, Aaron."

He replies, as they have since they were old enough to speak the words, "Rock on, Mom," and he leaves for school.

Once they're gone, I Google the right answer. And wonder where they heard a Ke$ha song.

I am:: the settee
I feel:: awakeawake
(Anonymous) on March 4th, 2011 03:34 pm (UTC)
I must admit.. it is somewhat of a guilty pleasure to read your blog. I can, even though it has been 20 years since we went to school together, hear your dry wit. Your sense of humor and demeanor was what made me nuts about you at Nimitz.. till you found the stage.. then you were done.LOL Cuz I will be damned if I share the spotlight with ANYONE! Keep writing this gold. It brightens up the drudgery!
Carrie Leigh: advice in bad prosecarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:34 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks, Brooks. Hope to see you at the reunion this summer.

Though with the two of us in the same room there's a possibility that we might take over the world. You'd have to use your powers for good and not evil for a change though... ;)
(Anonymous) on March 6th, 2011 12:39 am (UTC)
You are putting a suffocating amount of requirements on me... Why can't you go dark side a bit? After all.. Good is dumb. I look forward to everyone seeing me at the reunion, too... Good chance I will jack your car... Again
Jessica K Malfoy: nature: rainbow dandelionsjessicakmalfoy on March 4th, 2011 04:35 pm (UTC)
they're so cute! i love your cute kid stories! don't stop sharing them ♥

once i snuck in the living room and aislynn was dancing (in my high heels) with her headphones on and singing, "when we sway i go ... WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee!" and she would shout that last part all enthusiastically.

yesterday i noticed on tumblr there was a meme going around called the "christina sings the wrong lyrics meme". it was so funny. let me see if i can find a link to a good one.

okay here's one: http://gojoepipkin.tumblr.com/post/3638376327/roflcopter

you get the idea.
Carrie Leigh: Ethan=Little Dracocarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:39 pm (UTC)
Kids are so darn cute when they think no one is watching.

Oh, Christina. Poor girl.
O Demanding One: Urs: Ursness  :)heyurs on March 4th, 2011 04:43 pm (UTC)

*hollerin' out loud*

LOVE IT! (mostly because I have not much of a clue either ;)

Edited at 2011-03-04 04:43 pm (UTC)
maureenmaureen on March 4th, 2011 08:18 pm (UTC)
I love the cute kid stories, too.

However... we gotta talk about lyrics. To quote Kevin Costner in Bull Durham, "I hate it when people get the words wrong." My mom makes up words, too. My whole life I've been yelling at her, "learn the words or stop singing!" She pays no attention to me. Can you believe it?
O Demanding One: Encourage: ♥ You Rock!heyurs on March 5th, 2011 12:20 am (UTC)

HA! All right music magician! :P!

*goes off cackling* ♥

Carrie Leigh: record/Cassandrecarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:32 pm (UTC)
It ain't "woolly" it's "weary." And it nobody's got stress, they're wearing a dress!

:D Love that movie. I don't sing the wrong words, but I might stop singing when I don't KNOW the words, for sure.
maureen: wall o' guitarsmaureen on March 6th, 2011 08:42 pm (UTC)
I love that movie too. And what a soundtrack!

Phew. That sounds much better. I misunderstood. Accept my (relieved) apology.
Carrie Leigh: i got lostcarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:40 pm (UTC)
I have about 45% of a clue.
O Demanding One: Spring/Summer: Barn Loftheyurs on March 5th, 2011 04:41 pm (UTC)

*nods and laughs*

Not a lady at allcosmo_jenny on March 4th, 2011 07:09 pm (UTC)
*snort hollers*
Carmenhumbuggirl on March 4th, 2011 08:35 pm (UTC)
Heh. I really do think your kids are going to end up taking over the world.
Carrie Leigh: Awkward Luke and Darthcarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:42 pm (UTC)
That's a distinct possibility.

Maybe I should notify someone. Or let it be a surprise?
deedsk_tx on March 4th, 2011 09:03 pm (UTC)
I'm laughing, snorting and crying in my cube at work- those around me think I've gone mad on a Friday afternoon!! This is GREATNESS!!

First of all....my children make up words as well- you might have heard the song "Hey Solar System" by Train?? I about drove off the rode when they were singing that little diddy at the top of their lungs in the car on the way home from school.

Speaking of Diddy....he used to be Puff Daddy- then went to P.Diddy (who knows why- wanted to be like J.Lo b/c they were dating???) but I think he uses his real name 'Sean John' Combs for his clothing line. I'm a hip-hop junky (I had a co-worker in shock when they walked over and saw my Ipod on Eminem - I use my earbuds of course). Now-although Diddy gets credit for being a "musical mastermind" he really doesn't sing very well and hasn't had an album out in ages....so I would like to deem him a producer now!

As for Ke$ha- at least Aaron was singing that line and not the "Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack" line- that might have been even MORE fun to explain!

Matt has made a ritual of playing the boys at least 3-4 songs of greatness from the 60's, 70's and 80's every few weeks. I'm proud to say Josh can now recite the CORRECT lyrics to 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon!

OH...the life of being a Mommy of boys!! Thanks for the laugh today!!!
Carrie Leigh: Lead me not into temptationcarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:45 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the hip-hop history lesson. You can't learn EVERYTHING you need to know listening to Led Zeppelin and AC/DC. :D

Hey, Solar System. *snort*

I can't WAIT to see you guys!
Kate: Good Luck With Thatmugglechump on March 5th, 2011 12:18 am (UTC)
*giggles* I love your kids.

As a side note, from a similarly old person, it is not apparently pronounced KEE-dollar sign-ha. It is KEH-dollar sign-ha. Keh, like Meh, which is how I feel about her in general.
Carrie Leigh: Grammar Snarkcarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:48 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm musically indifferent to her, with the exception of Glee and the above conversation.

Except for the fact that it took me about 30 seconds to figure out how to make my fingers type her misspelled name.
Ayla: Amusedabitofayla on March 5th, 2011 01:24 am (UTC)
My friend has a classic. Instead of "A bad moon on the rise" he used to think it was "a bathroom on the right"

But I still do this. Although not where anyone can hear me. :P
Carrie Leigh: Being vaguecarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:49 pm (UTC)

Yes. I tend to hum in public when I don't know the words.
dragonsangel68: HP - Draco gigglingdragonsangel68 on March 5th, 2011 01:12 pm (UTC)
Your cute kid stories are priceless! Besides, you should be recording things like this, because you can't remember all the little moments and they're important :)
Carrie Leigh: Fight Evil read bookscarrie_leigh on March 5th, 2011 04:50 pm (UTC)
Yes, I don't scrapbook or anything like that, so i hope LJ doesn't crash and burn and I lose my kids' childhood.