Carrie Leigh (carrie_leigh) wrote,
Carrie Leigh

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February 10, 2011? You suck.

I don't know if I can actually do this justice.

I'm going to try.

First of all, the water lines to my washer and dryer have been frozen for a week. This is due in equal blame to the pipes being on an outside wall, BUckets and buckets of snow that have drifted against the house, the temperatures not getting above 20F for a week, and short-sightedness on the part of the home builder.

Fine. The children didn't have anymore clean pants to wear, and we're going out of town. I had to do laundry.

First of all, laundry blows. Generally speaking.

Second of all, I had to go to a laundromat. I haven't been to a laundromat in fifteen years. I actually had to look in the yellow pages to see where one was located.

Laundromats can't even see 'blow' from where they are. It was four dollars a load to wash. FOUR DOLLARS? What. The Crap. I barely had enough cash to make it work! And some guy HIT ON ME WHILE I WAS FOLDING MY HUSBAND'S BATMAN BOXER SHORTS.

He came up, all SUAVE, with his Tommy Sweater and gold chain (help me, Rhonda) and said, "So would it work if I asked you if you came here often?"

Honestly, I didn't know what to say. I blinked several times, trying to decide if this guy was for real, and then gave him an eloquent and unequivocal, "No."

And then I folded all the socks and booked it outta there.

THEN, I dropped one of the damn laundry baskets in an effing snowdrift, so all the clothes that I had washed, dried and folded, at great personal risk to my sanity, were now WET.

I scooped them up and put them in the car, and then stopped at Walgreens, Target and the bank. Uneventful. No more lewd weirdos. No catastrophic issues. I breathed easier.

Until I got to my alley. When it snows, I have to go up the alley to get in my garage. I can't go the other way, the grade is too steep and I don't have four wheel drive. BUT, some JACKWAGON was blocking the entire alley with his dually truck (FYI: I LOATHE duallys. I feel like the owners are compensating for something) while he used a snowblower on his driveway.

And he smiled at me as I was backing away. Like wasn't he cute for snowblowing his driveway?

Ask me if I think he was cute for snowblowing his driveway. ASK ME. I DARE YOU.

So against my better judgment, I went the other way. And got stuck in a snowdrift. I finally gave up after an hour and a half of trying to get myself unstuck. One woman sat and watched from the top of the hill for about ten minutes.

She's lucky I didn't have a laser gun. I would have ended her.

Luckily, I don't own one. Yet. After today, I'm looking into it.

Anyhow, I called and made arrangements for someone to substitute for my class - you know, someone who wasn't idiotic enough to get their car stuck in a damn snowdrift. Thankfully, the folks at the theatre are nice and accommodating that way. No one gave me any crap for being stupid.

And I've convinced my husband to take me to run errands this evening - I'm getting a pedi/mani for this trip - after today, I NEED IT. And I have to pick up Nolan's Valentine. Because I'm a good wife like that.

In short, I'm blessed to have a washing machine and live in a place where it DOESN'T snow 360 days out of the year. Because if I didn't? And I had to live today every day? I WOULDN'T MAKE IT. I'd jump off a bridge, or into a snowdrift, or impale myself on a crappy laundromat washer and END IT ALL.

Bottom line: I'm going to be on a beach in a few days. Eye on the prize. Eye on the prize. Eye on the freaking dang prize.
Tags: big ugly rant, i'm an idiot, people are punks

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