Carrie Leigh (carrie_leigh) wrote,
Carrie Leigh

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Conversations With an Eight Year-Old

Eclipse has an MPAA rating of PG-13. I knew that going into this. But the boys have watched loads of PG-13 movies without incident. Off the top of my head - The Spider-Man Franchise, for one. And I am by no means a prude. But I was wholly unprepared for this. WHERE IS MY HANDBOOK?

Anywho, parenting is an adventure.

(So Bella and her dad are in the kitchen so I immediately turn it up. Because - Charlie. Duh. Bella's whining about something or being moody, and Charlie starts to 'have the talk' with his daughter and she says:)

Bella. I am a virgin, and I have no immediate plans to change that status.

Aaron. (Pauses the movie) What's a virgin?

(Let me take a moment to put into words what it's like to be asked that question by your kid. It's like getting caught doing something wrong when you're a teenager. My stomach did a flip and I felt nauseated. Seriously. Anyway, back to the story.)

Carrie. It's someone who's never had sex before.

(Again, let me stop to say that when asked if they knew what sex was, Ethan pipes up and says it's when a "girl lays down on top of a boy and they kiss like hogs."

That's verbatim, y'all.

Aaron. (turns to me) Are you a virgin?

Carrie. (eek!) Um, no. I had to have had sex to get pregnant and have you and Ethan.

Aaron. Oh. (thinks for a moment) Is Dad a virgin?

Carrie. (Oh, Lord, have mercy) No, he had a hand in getting me pregnant so you could be here.

Aaron. Oh. How old are you when you have sex?

Carrie. Old. And married. Any other questions?

Aaron. No, I don't think so.

Carrie. Okay. (Good, thank GOD, please let Nolan be the next one to field these sorts of questions.)

In less horrifying news, my dad is here, and we're have a cool, laid back time. Love to all and happy new year, if I don't see you before.
Tags: aaron, adventures in parenting, cute kid story, horrific adult story, horrific kid story, movies, twilight
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