There are constants in the world. There are things that never change. There are things you just KNOW you can count on.

*E will always equal MC squared.

*Nolan will always tell me that I look beautiful, even if I have bedhead and haven't showered for two days.

*Pamela Anderson's breasts will forever and always point northward.

*The Dewey Decimal System

*Stevie Nicks' hair

*The speed of light in a vacuum.

*Carrie's consummate hatred of all things gourd.

However, my dear friends, I've been introduced to something whose utter and complete deliciousness will not be denied. Are you ready for this, people? Pay close attention. It is...The Pumpkin Muffin.

It's wonderful. Simply amazing. And it makes me wonder if, perhaps, I might have misjudged all gourds. Is squash really good? Is zucchini something that I should try more often? Should I actually order the pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks?

(Right now, from the general direction of Louisville, Kentucky, I can hear my sister's shout of disbelief, and from Arlington, Texas, my mother's smugness.)

I just don't know, anymore. Up is down and left is right! Should I try tapioca pudding again? Is celery really not as nasty as I've always made it out to be? Are liver and onions really a taste treat? Are raisins actually good in cookies? IS TEQUILA REALLY NOT NAUSEATING (and something that I can really get over, given the events of October 1992)?

*snort*

I'm not drinking tequila. I haven't lost my damn mind, thankyouverymuch. You live and learn. And hoo, boy, did I ever learn.

Seriously, though, it does make me wonder if my tastes have changed. I'm going to have to do some exploring, that's for sure. Although I remain, as ever, skeptical. While I'm over here thinking about it, here's a recipe and how to for you nice folks. It comes from my friend filia_umbrae, whose entry was one of the winner's of my July contest this year. She entered Pumpkin Bread, and I made pumpkin muffins, because there's no slicing that way and I'm lazy.



Pumpkin Muffins

This is a two bowl recipe. Preheat your oven to 350. Assemble the usual suspects.



1 cup butter
3 cups sugar
3 eggs
1 16oz can pumpkin
1 tsp vanilla



Blend all this well in one bowl first.

3 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp clove (I used allspice. I didn't have ground cloves)
1/2 tsp nutmeg



Mix all this together and add slowly to the wet mixture.



If you'd like, you can add 1 cup chopped nuts or raisins, but that's entirely optional, and in filia_umbrae's opinion (and mine), totally unnecessary.



Grease and flour (or use Baker's Joy) on a muffin pan, and bake for about forty-five minutes (thirty minutes of mini-muffins), or until you can get a clean toothpick, and then you're set for delicious, amazing pumpkin muffin bites of heaven.



And if you're feeling especially decadent, you can put butter on a warm muffin and time yourself to see how fast you can eat it.



My time is .00045 seconds. Not that I'm bragging.

Really, though. Make the muffins. You'll thank me.