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05 August 2010 @ 10:20 am
Good manners sometimes means putting up with other people's bad manners.  
I am continually amazed and appalled by the manners (table and otherwise) of people around me. Not just children, mind, but adults. ADULTS. Grown-up people who have been in society enough to observe the niceties around them, and yet fail to do so. In the hopes that one or more (or all) of them stumble across this humble little blog, I'd like to enumerate a few of the rules of good manners.

1. Chew with your mouth closed. This applies to eating as well as chewing gum. No one, I repeat, NO ONE wants to see half masticated food or gum rolling around in your mouth. Close your lips. The world at large thanks you.

2. Do not talk on your cell phone while being served by a store clerk. It's rude. They are people, too.

3. If you are a store clerk, do not carry on conversations with other workers while you are serving someone. Include the customer, if you must talk, but don't ignore them.

4. If someone holds the door for you, acknowledge them. And it probably wouldn't kill you to hold the door open for someone else, especially women with small children or strollers trying to get through doors. Seriously, how self-involved are you?


5. Please refrain from spitting anywhere in public, regardless of the situation. It's bad form. And gross. Just don't.

6. Please don't talk during the movie, or while at the theatre. If the myriad of warnings before the previews aren't enough to get through to you, know that people who break this rule go directly to the seventeenth ring of hell, where they will be held personally responsible for maintaining Lucifer's pedicure. They will not pass GO. They will not collect $200. Also, turn off your cell phones during the movie. It won't kill you to be unreachable for an hour and a half.

7. I'm pretty sure that sending and receiving texts/phone calls during a meal at a restaurant is poor manners. I understand that there are exceptions, but it irks me. Also, texting while holding a conversation with someone is sort of rude. I find the ability to multitask like that nothing short of amazing, but still not exactly polite.

8. Wave at other drivers who let you in traffic. When did this go by the wayside? Coach Parrish taught me to do this in driver's ed. For a long time, I thought it was one of the written rules.

9. Don't try and get on the elevator/train/bus/whatever before other passengers have disembarked. You are holding up the process. You are not the only person in the world. Look around. There are other folks who are just as important as you are, and they're minding their manners.

10. Follow the posted laws when driving. This includes obeying traffic lights, and using turn indicators and utilizing turning lanes and... you know what? #10 is it's own post.

11. Do not, if talking to a friend, drop all conversation so soon as a child requires attention, or has some childish remark to make. Children are meant to be seen and not heard. Unless it's an emergency or someone is BLEEDING OUT, it can wait until the adults have finished talking.

12. Don't stare. People watching is fine. Staring is stalkery and creepy.

13. Don't point.

14. Pyjamas are not clothes, and shouldn't be worn in public. Similarly, house shoes or slippers aren't shoes. They should be left at home, no matter how cute and fluffy they are.

15. Don't bathe in cologne or perfume. A whiff of perfume is nice. Being gagged by it is unpleasant. The wearer is usually desensitized to the scent, so know that if you can smell your own perfume, you're wearing too much.

16. Say please and thank you and May I. And excuse me. And if the situation warrants, I'm sorry.

17. Teach your children how to address adults. Boys should learn how to shake hands. "Hello, Mrs. Smith." "How are you today?" "I'm well, how are you?" etc. Use thse phrases yourself, instead of a muttered, "Hey," or "Fine."

18. Have good sportsmanship. Being a good winner is every bit as important as being a good loser. Don't gloat.

19. Don't swear in public. I love a well-placed swear for comedic or dramatic effect, but using swear words as adjectives is not for the public, especially at a restaurant with women and children in attendance.

20. Manners really boil down to being considerate of others, and thinking of someone else's well being over your own. In our society nowadays, these mores are going by the wayside. If we all take into consideration that we are not the center of the universe, it would be a more polite and well-mannered world, I think.

And if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Thumper's mom had the best one of 'em all.
I am:: home
I feel:: annoyedannoyed
(Anonymous) on August 5th, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
I hate it when people talk with food in their mouths. It is one of my biggest pet-peeves. I go to 1-2 business lunches a week. Invariably with one of the other associates in my office. He is a professional. Four years of college. He's worked in our office for 5 years. He has the worst table manners! - Virgil
Carrie Leigh: screw up fairycarrie_leigh on August 5th, 2010 05:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Amen.
We were at a restaurant where a little boy (about age 10) was chewing with his mouth open. Nolan and I both were disgusted, and even more so when I noticed the MOTHER was doing the same thing. Hideous, I tell you. Hideous.
O Demanding One: Express: Stupid Killsheyurs on August 5th, 2010 03:52 pm (UTC)

Mmmmhmmm... *nods*

Carrie Leigh: poppies blue skycarrie_leigh on August 5th, 2010 05:17 pm (UTC)
Great icon.
O Demanding One: Express: Happy Heffalumpheyurs on August 5th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)

Says it all, huh? ;)

Not a lady at allcosmo_jenny on August 5th, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
Kate: True Blood: Sookiebutterfly_kate on August 5th, 2010 04:45 pm (UTC)
Manners are so important. When I was at uni my housemates used to think I was weird because I insisted that everyone had to have their food/be at the table when we started eating. This is my major rule. If I'm at a restaurant and my meal comes first then I don't start eating until everyone else has theirs. That's manners and it gets on my nerves that people laugh at me because of it.

Then again, one of my housemates didn't understand my objections when she licked food off her knife, so that just shows what I was up against!

Anyway, I was nodding along with most of this, though I winced at the swearing one - I've slipped up on that on more than a few occasions.
Carrie Leigh: Arthur isn't impressedcarrie_leigh on August 5th, 2010 04:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, so have I. Believe me, I've sworn a blue streak here and there in my life. But at a family restaurant, surrounded by other people? And continually dropping the f-bomb loudly? No.
7veilsphaedra7veilsphaedra on August 5th, 2010 04:52 pm (UTC)
Nice job. The only thing I might add is about how being a younger, more able-bodied, healthy and strong person pretty much leaves you entitled to give up your public seating to someone who isn't when there are no other available seats within easy access. Not everyone gets that privilege, so enjoy it while you can.
Carrie Leigh: applausecarrie_leigh on August 5th, 2010 05:11 pm (UTC)
Hear, hear.
Sharlenemynuet on August 5th, 2010 05:08 pm (UTC)
I mostly agree, although with Milo #11 is right out. He'd be more than happy to be left alone until the adults are done talking, but that would end up Very Badly.
Carrie Leigh: fairie kisscarrie_leigh on August 5th, 2010 05:14 pm (UTC)
There are exceptions to every rule, of course, and kiddos with autism and special needs are definitely one.

My children, who are 1) Able to wait and 2) Old enough to know better can be patient, though. Unless, of course, there's lots of blood or impending death.
Ayla: Intriguedabitofayla on August 5th, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
Manners were practically beat into me growing up. I was like the only child in the north who would say "Mr./Ms. First Name" after getting the okay for THAT. To this day, even as an adult, I still address elders by Mr./Ms. Whomever. I think Urs was the first person I didn't use Miss with and it was so awkward.

The biggest problem I had was the whole "May I" thing. I just couldn't grasp that. My 6th grade History teacher (at a Catholic school) nearly beat THAT into me.

The ma'am/Sir thing was a southern thing I learned, among other things.

But overall, I was a polite child for fear of death.

But nowadays, the lack of manners just floors me. I see kids who don't say ma'am or sir or please and I'm like "yes what" only to get a blank stare. It's appalling. I'm so glad there are parents who do teach them manners.
O Demanding One: More Love: XOXOheyurs on August 5th, 2010 10:14 pm (UTC)

You were raised right! ;D

Jessica K Malfoy: lotr: not all who wanderjessicakmalfoy on August 5th, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC)
#9 is one of my ultimate pet peeves, along with movie interupt-ers. *smites them all*
Jazsekuh: Boogiejazsekuh on August 5th, 2010 10:17 pm (UTC)
As an addition to number 6: Please do not bring your baby to the movie. If there's something more annoying than you talking during the movie, it's your baby crying.

It's sad to think that this has been happening more and more during the few movies that I venture to the cinema to see. The first time it happened, I went to see The Ring at a relatively late showing. The usher was eventually called and the offenders were escorted out of the theater. It wasn't a great movie, but it was still kind of ruined by the baby crying through the first twenty minutes of it.
Alluring_Twilight: Facepalmalluringt_light on August 6th, 2010 02:01 pm (UTC)
#6 irks me so much. Some of my friends always talked in the cinema (and still do I'm guessing) and I got so annoyed I stopped going to the movies with them.

Also, I do wish some people at university saw this list. I grew up with my mother constantly telling me to have good manners and I love her for it now. Some people at uni are disgusting and sometimes they even make me uncomfortable with their constant swearing and the likes.
lovedbygod2: reality no morelovedbygod2 on August 6th, 2010 02:14 pm (UTC)
Can I add use your signal light? Huge pet peeve of mine!
Great list though!

Edited at 2010-08-06 02:14 pm (UTC)