Now, I'm not talking about the mild stuff, like finding a plastic snake next to the milk in the refrigerator, left there, no doubt, to make me shriek. (It doesn't. It does make me laugh, though.) I'm talking about the stuff that makes me want to crawl into a fetal ball and rock after shivering and flailing with revolted abandon.
I spare you of some of this, friends. I don't tell you all of the awful truths.
But this... this weekend's Ick involves a crustacean.
I'm making a face just typing the story.
Okay. So as many of you know, the boys were with their paternal grandparents (whom I love and adore) for part of last week. Their grandpa brought them back to us (filthy, they'd been at the cabin - but we were in a very posh store (Raffkind's) where Nolan was buying a suit, but that's a whole other story.) Anyway, Ethan announces to the world at large that he caught a crawfish in Childress, and he's brought it back in a little container of water, and he's going to keep it as a pet.
I was speechless.
(this exchange happened, too)
Ethan. (plaintively) Can't I have a PET?
Me. You do. The two 70 pound dogs that we feed twice a day and sit under your chair hoping you'll drop some crumbs. Katie and Abbey? Ring a bell?
Ethan. Oh. Yeah.
I kept looking at my father-in-law, hoping he'd say it was all an elaborate joke, but alas, this was not to be. Captain Ron** (the animal in question) has been moved from his transitional home to a tank-like container. Nolan and Ethan spent an hour online trying to see how to care for a crawfish.
By the by, 'fish' is a misnomer. For those of you unacquainted with this animal when it's not in an Yvette sauce at Pappadeaux***, It looks like a miniature lobster. I love Yvette sauce. I do not fancy making Yvette sauce from someone that I've met, though.
We're keeping him alive until Thursday, when they're going back to the cabin, and can take Captain Ron back to his home.
One of the things they read online is that apparently crawfish are amazing escape artists, and can jump out of the water in the manner of dolphins (*disgusted face*) or similar.
I feel for Captain Ron if he tries to escape. Katie's not nearly as picky about her Yvette sauce as I am.
* I believe nature is best viewed through a pane of glass while sipping a fruity drink.
** Taken from a movie with Kurt Russell and Martin Short, that the kids like to watch with their grandpa. May or may not be appropriate for children.
*** Fantastic Cajun seafood restaurant. Seriously - go. The seafood fondue will make your skirt fly up.