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24 July 2010 @ 11:41 pm
I'm Brain Dead  

&dagger Even though I'm diligent about sunscreen everywhere, for everyone, (Some people call me the sunscreen Nazi) I have a sunburn in the part of my hair. It really, really hurts. I think it blistered. Ouch. And gross.

&dagger I was sitting in the bathtub and going through the usual ablutions and noticed that my knees were dirty. I thought, "My knees are dirty? How the heck did that happen?" But then as I scrubbed, I found that they're just tan.

&dagger I don't think I look right with a tan. I just look dirty. You can't scrub away freckles, no matter how hard you try.

&dagger This bed seriously sucks. If we keep it much longer, I'm going to have to make an LJ tag for it. Something along the lines of, "This bed seriously frickin' sucks rocks."

&dagger There are three entities that I can hear snoring at present: Abbey (breathy whistle) Katie (rolling rumble) and Nolan Kyle (freight train).

&dagger I find I'm comforted by the sound of snoring. But not at all comforted by tan knees.

&dagger Nolan's 16 year old, completely adorable second cousin is staying with us for a visit. It makes me wonder if I was that completely adorable at 16.

&dagger I'd lay money on the fact that I wasn't. I'm pretty sure I was moody and self-centered and grouchy.

&dagger Evidently 16 isn't that far removed from 37.

&dagger There are 97 jars of homemade jam in my pantry right now. Peach, Strawberry Peach, Blueberry Peach, Balsamic Strawberry and Wild Plum.

&dagger I'd say I'm all jammed out, but I think I'm going to do a mixed berry. One more batch, then I'll stop.

&dagger Other people get hooked on crack, I get hooked on making jam.

&dagger I can't even get a habit without it being dorky.

&dagger Someone needs to make a rule that jam is still fruit. That way I can just have a spoonful for breakfast and it'll be on my diet.

&dagger I think diets blow.

&dagger But my big thighs blow more.

&dagger That's what she said.

&dagger Okay. Evidently the Advil PM has kicked in.

&dagger Have I said that Advil PM is really good stuff? It's a little blue pill. Not THAT little blue pill, but you know...

&dagger And can I just say how disgusting commercials are? I don't want to know about all the problems people need medicine for. Geez Louise! A little mystery would be nice.

&dagger Wonder if there's medicine you can take for dirty knees? Or a sunburnt part? Or a jam making habit?

&dagger If anyone knows, send along the information, please.

Now aren't you glad you read all that? Aren't you a better person for knowing it all?


Well, at least you got to see my new layout. :) Goodnight.
I feel:: quixoticquixotic
I hear:: the aforementioned snoring
Jessica K Malfoy: jb: margaritavillejessicakmalfoy on July 25th, 2010 04:48 am (UTC)
oooo! can i order one of each of the jams for them? and you MUST let me pay for them, plus shipping of course. I need to be a decent wedding gift giver (even though traveling so far was a pretty expensive gift in my opinion. but i adore them and want them to have it!). and i look stupid with a tan too, even though my legs are so white they glow. my knees & the tops of my feet look dirty.

diet/thighs = me totally agreeing
Carrie Leigh: Carrieleighcarrie_leigh on July 25th, 2010 04:57 am (UTC)
Surely. The balsamic strawberry didn't set up properly, so unless I redo it (unlikely), it's more like strawberry balsamic syrup. :/ But I'll sent the others, for sure.

The tan/dirty knees are disconcerting. Do not like.
Jessica K Malfoy: food: lemonade and sunshinejessicakmalfoy on July 26th, 2010 12:15 am (UTC)
alright. i am excited about this. they will love it! also, no rush mailing it. they leave tomorrow to start driving back to Oregon, but they have some stops to make, and won't be home until next Sunday.

maureen: wonder twinsmaureen on July 25th, 2010 01:28 pm (UTC)
The difference between 16 and 37 is that at this point we have a right to be isolationist bitches.

I love a well placed 'that's what she said.'
Jessica K Malfoy: nature: yellow daisiesjessicakmalfoy on July 26th, 2010 12:16 am (UTC)
also, when i see 16 year old girls, i wish i could tell them to appreciate how beautiful they are! i always felt icky then, even though looking back... well, i WISH my skin still held up that nicely! LOL
Carmenhumbuggirl on July 25th, 2010 02:02 pm (UTC)
Your new layout is very pretty.

Also, I'm one of those people who just looks dirty when they're tanned. It doesn't help that my feet tan way more easily than my legs.
Ayla: Mischieviousabitofayla on July 25th, 2010 04:51 pm (UTC)
When I grow up I want to be as awesome as the ladies on the journals I read.

I love your updates. They amuse me to no end. I take a little blue pill too. But also, not THAT blue pill. It's for lactose intolerance-y.

goeungurlgoeungurl on July 26th, 2010 07:58 am (UTC)
So let's get this straight. You make bags, jam, raise two darling boys, keep your husband happy, act, write, cook, clean a beautiful house, diet, and who knows what else. How do you do it all?? Aside from being awesome, that is. ;)

I would recommend an apricot scrub for the knees followed by your favorite moisturizing lotion. Other than that, hide them from the sun.