It has come to my attention that some of the work that I've been tasked to do falls well above my pay grade. In the future, if contact with the following items or jobs are required in my day to day occupation, I will require a significant raise in wages.
*clearing up anything that exits a dog in any way
*bodily fluids of small boys
*yardwork of any kind
*crisper drawers of the refrigerator
*stuff that sits in the sink for more than two days
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.