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18 May 2009 @ 01:57 pm
I'm tired. Really, really tired.  
Hospitals absolutely suck my will to live.  Which, you know, when you think about it, is pretty ironic.

You can just smell the hopelessness there. It hangs in the air like a living entity, enveloping the patients and staff, making it hard to breathe. 

Or maybe that was just what they use to clean the floors.

But I'm pretty sure it was the hopelessness.

Anyway, private hospital or not, the cleanliness was not antiseptic.  It was actually more like how I keep my house, which honestly,  let me tell you that some weeks is with a lick and a promise.  Seriously, I am thankful Nolan is home, that he's somewhat mobile, and that he's on the mend.  I can tell he's getting better because the orneriness is at an all time high.  He WON'T take his pain medication.  ('I'm a MAAAAAAN!') And he got a little shirty about taking his muscle relaxers.  But I strongarmed him into it.  He may outweigh me by 70 pounds, and be over a foot taller, but when I put my foot down, my size seven wide makes an IMPRINT, y'all.

I'm grateful that I don't have real problems.  I'm grateful for my family's continued good health.  I'm so, so, so, so grateful that I can wash off that "hospital smell" and I don't have to go up there again for it to seep into my pores again.  I'm grateful for the nursing staff, who did their best, even though they were understaffed.  I'm grateful for the doctor, who put twenty-two staples in my husband's back, and who relieved him of his chronic pain.  I'm grateful to God, who saw my husband through the surgery and out of the anesthesia.  I'm grateful to all the people who prayed for us, and for Stephanie, who took my children overnight and allowed me to spend more time at the hospital.  (And who brought me dinner which alleviated my chronic fast food heartburn for the first time in days.)  I'm grateful to my boys who were quiet watching Superman Returns and Veggie Tales on a loop with earphones so as not to disturb their sleeping father.  I'm grateful to Plum Sykes and Charlaine Harris, whose books entertained me through hours of sitting in a semi-dark room, waiting until Nolan needed something.

But most of all, I'm grateful to my husband.  I'm glad he's the sort of man that I want to get better, that I miss when he's not around, and who cared enough about our quality of life to have this taken care of before it got out of hand.  And I will be grateful when he is whole again.

So my tiredness will pass.  It will.  It's just a season.  He'll get better and life will go on.  It will.  ItwillItwillItwill.

I feel:: thankfulthankful
I hear:: the gardener putting mulch on the flower beds
Sylviaticklethepear on May 18th, 2009 07:59 pm (UTC)
Lauradream_mancer on May 18th, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC)
I'm one of the haters of hospitals as well, because I've been in and out of them for half of my life. I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way.

O Demanding One: Inspire: GodIsTheStrengthofMyHeartheyurs on May 18th, 2009 08:51 pm (UTC)

Bless y'all!   ♥

maureenmaureen on May 18th, 2009 10:04 pm (UTC)
That is WONDERFUL news. I'm glad y'all are back home, safe and relatively sound.

Your 'grateful' paragraph brought tears to my eyes.
Celinaxoxrhapsodyxox on May 18th, 2009 10:07 pm (UTC)
Ah, Carrie! I'm so glad that everything went so well. Surgery can be quite scary, though in the end worth it!
nbaekernbaeker on May 18th, 2009 10:07 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad Nolan's getting better, and that you didn't have to stay with the hospital for very long. For a place that is meant to be helping to get people back on their feet, they sure are depressing, huh.

I guess that reminds us all why we're told to visit the sick; your comments on hopelessness certainly did that for me, anyhow. I used to take Efrayim to the seniors center to visit; if Pender had one i'd still go.

They wash the floors with hopelessness there, too.

Embellishedembe11ished on May 18th, 2009 10:14 pm (UTC)
I'm glad everything went well and that you're back home again!
tracyj23: Be happy!tracyj23 on May 18th, 2009 10:59 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm glad he made it through okay and that you're home now.

Prayers that the recovery will go quickly. (And with only a minimum of man-bitching!)

Kate: Hugs youmugglechump on May 18th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
I'm glad Nolan's feeling well enough to give you a hard time. ;D I bet he's happy to be home, too. Hospitals are the pits.
dragonsangel68: Hugsdragonsangel68 on May 18th, 2009 11:18 pm (UTC)
Having been through this a few times with my own hubby, I can promise it will pass. You have to find a way to relax enough to get some proper sleep for your own sanity. I know it's hard, because he might need something, but it's crucial to your own well being at the same time.

What is it about men and pain meds? *shakes head* You keep putting that size seven wide down hard, because men aren't as tough as they like to think they are.

Concentrate on the positives you've listed when things start to look like they're turning murderous and don't forget to take a few minutes for yourself.
seegrim: hand daisyseegrim on May 19th, 2009 01:14 am (UTC)
Love you.

I'm sorry you had to become thoroughly acquainted with the hospital, but I'm glad you're both home.

My prayers are will Nolan that it'll be a speedy recovery.
Mala13oct on May 26th, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC)