(And don't think I missed which of you checked the 'dork' box on the Peeps Quiz. I've got my eye on you. You know who you are.)
But my husband is an even bigger dork than I am. One of his favorite things to do is to call people he knows and pretend to be someone else. A cleaner cut, West Texas version of the Jerky Boys. He particularly likes to fool Anne, the administrative assistant at the theatre, my mother, and the revolving door of new secretaries that go through his family's business. He pretends to be John Welles of the Internal Revenue Service, calling about an audit, an old lady thinking that she's called the humane society about a stray cat, (Nolan's old lady voice is surprisingly good for such a big man) and once for poor Anne, a Monsignor calling from the Catholic diocese wanting to take a group of schoolchildren to see ALT's production of Doubt.
So I get on the bandwagon, right? I'm a playful, clever girl, and I've started answering the phone as someone different every time he calls. (God bless the caller ID.) Some of the favorites from this week:
"Pizza Hut, home of the stuffed crust supreme, this is Wendy, may I stuff your crust?"
"Texas Dodge, home of the award-winning Challenger, this is Marie, how may I rev your engine?"
(In a tearful voice) "High Plains Humane society, this is Shelly. If you're calling about your cat, I'm sorry, we lost her." (sobs)
And Nolan's as big of a goob as me, he always plays along. So this morning, there's an incoming call from his office number and I answer:
"911 Operator, what is the nature of your emergency?"
To my complete and total horrified embarrassment, I hear my mother-in-law sputtering on the other end of the phone, murmuring something about a wrong number.
I owned up; I admitted it was me, and told her about the game Nolan and I play. And she was sweet about it.
But I'm pretty sure she would have checked the 'dork' box on the Peeps quiz, too. Frankly, I'm just glad I didn't proposition her. :P