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25 November 2008 @ 07:06 pm
You are as busy as you want to be.  
After the last week of busyness - of performing and cooking and cleaning, and generally being more domestic than I've ever been EVER in my life, I found myself sitting on the couch last night, exhausted yet again. When a friend asked me how I was, innocuously enough, I started bemoaning the fact that I was tired, and that this is usually the time of year that I become Grinchy. A bad banana with a greasy black peel - the whole nine yards.

She wisely suggested that the level of Grinchiness is directly proportionate to the amount of work I have to do.

I thought that statement was profound. I've been thinking about it ever since.

She went on to say that if she "had to make her home perfect and be a perfect hostess and cook a perfect meal and buy perfect presents, etc., that she'd be a perfect raving bitch in short order."

I actually laughed out loud at that. But it was really an epiphany for me. Every year, I become beyond misanthropic, cranky and mean, all because I'm trying to create the perfect Christmas or holiday experience, and I really don't know where the drive came from to do it in the first place.

Christmas is not about stuff - buying and receiving gifts. And it's not about hospitality, or food, and it's not about how clean my house is for company. This particular upcoming season is to celebrate Jesus' birth, pure and simple. And I think that instead of putting my focus where it doesn't need to be, and making material things far more important than they need to be, I've been contributing to my own unhappiness. So this year, I'm going to make an effort to enjoy the season. To put my focus where it needs to be, instead of where it's been.

So yeah. Here's to the reason for the season. :)

And thanks for the perspective, Sharlene.
I feel:: thoughtfulthoughtful
I hear:: NCIS
O Demanding One: Autumn: Glorious Autumnheyurs on November 26th, 2008 02:00 am (UTC)

hehehe! I knew that logic sounded familiar. *g*

I hope you succeed with your new direction. It's always good when someone else can point out to us what is probably right in our faces. I know I need reminding of things...a lot. X)

*hugs you*

Carrie Leigh: Alphabet soupcarrie_leigh on November 26th, 2008 06:08 am (UTC)
Thanks, Urs.
seegrim: james olive green sweaterseegrim on November 26th, 2008 02:28 am (UTC)
Seriously, Carrie. That's why I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. Because except for my dessert that shall remain unnamed and my cranberry salsa, all I have to do is show up.

Try not to aim for perfection this week and in the following ones -- not because you can't do it, but because you don't have to.

And hooray for sound advice. I, like Urs, knew that friend sounded familiar. :D
Carrie Leigh: cake or death?carrie_leigh on November 26th, 2008 04:08 am (UTC)
Yes. The Gourd Pie That Shall Not Speak its Name.

seegrimseegrim on November 26th, 2008 04:40 am (UTC)
Uh huh. Except it's not a pie. It's a crunch.

Carrie Leigh: Seriously?carrie_leigh on November 26th, 2008 06:08 am (UTC)
Oh, Celeste. Seriously.
seegrimseegrim on November 26th, 2008 06:33 am (UTC)
I think I just broke my spleen laughing.

Okay, so that's not correct anatomically, but...
Embellishedembe11ished on November 26th, 2008 02:45 am (UTC)
I remember saying something like that to my parents when I was a teenager. I got so sick of having to have the house perfect at Christmas that I had trouble enjoying Christmas itself. Of course, now that I'm on the other side, doing a little bit of entertaining myself, I've become a bit like my parents. I don't think I go quite as overboard as my parents do, but I still have to remember to keep things in perspective. I hope you manage to do that too. It really does help, when I can manage it!
Carrie Leigh: Alphabet soupcarrie_leigh on November 26th, 2008 06:13 am (UTC)
I hope that I don't make my kids feel like they can't live in their own house.

I'm hoping that changes this year. I'm going to be much more relaxed.
sereniteys: clem rockssereniteys on November 26th, 2008 03:31 am (UTC)
I hope with your new perspective you have a very merry Christmas!

...and a well deserved break from all the crazy domestic duties.
Carrie Leigh: Chicago - happycarrie_leigh on November 26th, 2008 06:11 am (UTC)
Thank you! I shall try.
dragonsangel68: Xmas - Dear santa draco letterdragonsangel68 on November 26th, 2008 05:11 am (UTC)
I have to have my house perfect at Christmas (it's like an illness or something, according to hubby), but I do have reasons behind all the preparation - I get to sit back and enjoy the holidays, and do little more than just pick up any mess, because it's so clean that it'll survive without being 'cleaned' until after the celebrations have finished ;)
Carrie Leigh: maidcarrie_leigh on November 26th, 2008 06:11 am (UTC)
I completely understand that. :)
Jandy the Gnome Whisperer: Celtic Heartjandjsalmon on November 26th, 2008 06:58 am (UTC)
I think I have been done a disservice by Holiday movies. I see how perfect those houses are and how everything just seems to come together and I get antsy that my holiday experiences aren't like that.

Now, I try to step back, enjoy the holiday traditions that we have, and accept that nothing is perfect and my job is to BE THERE for my family and my kids. That's the important bit, right? Being there? Those are the things our kids will remember - not how perfectly clean the house was.

And what's your problem with Pumpkin Pie? I know you don't like gourds... but it's SOOOOO yummy! Ben even asked for it for his BIRTHDAY next year. I asked him about cake over and over again - and he said NO, he wanted pumpkin pie. ;)
Carrie Leigh: cake or death?carrie_leigh on November 26th, 2008 01:29 pm (UTC)

You said it. Gag. Pumpkin ANYTHING is gross. It's part of the squash family.....

Bleh. Too early to defend myself.