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24 September 2008 @ 12:24 pm
Careful, Carrie. Your crazy is showing.  
So I'm one of those women.  I'm a volunteer.

I don't really want to be, by the way.  I was guilted into it.  I have two kids at this school, so I decided to give volunteering a shot.  Actually when I was a teacher, I thought the Mom volunteers were sort of losers, who had too much time on their hands, and couldn't let their kids go. 

Ah, how the times they do change.

I don't do it to be near the boys, but I do have an awful lot of time on my hands, and every now and then it's good to interact with the world, so I learned how to use the Circulation program (30 seconds) refreshed myself on the Dewey decimal system (a few minutes) and dragged myself up to the elementary school this morning to spread my own brand of sunshine and joy to the masses.

There was only one class that came in, the rest were single students who returned books and checked some more out.  I managed to shelve all the books on the return shelf, and just as I was about to leave, this little angelic child of about 8, with blonde hair and lovely green eyes comes up to me and asks for help.

Angel girl.  Could you help me find a book, please?

Me.  Sure, sugar.  What kind of book?

Angel Girl.  I'm doing a report on mammals in the ocean.

Me. (warily)  Like whales?

Angel girl.  Yes.  And manatees and dolphins.

Me.  (winces)  Alright.

(Angel girl and I go over to the 500s, and sure enough, in 599.53something, there were like a DOZEN books on (spits) DOLPHINS.)

Angel girl.  (exclaims)  Oh, good there are so many!

Me.  (in disgust) Yeah, there are a lot, alright.  Sure you don't want to do a report on Bears?

Angel girl. (blinks)  No.

So, in the interest of not scarring the young girl for life, I didn't share my opinions on dolphins (who, no matter what anyone says are not FRIENDLY.  Well, they are, but not that SORT of friendly), or tell her the horror story that was my honeymoon.

It was a close call, though.

I hear:: Paolo Nutini something
Sharlenemynuet on September 24th, 2008 06:22 pm (UTC)
*snort* You've ruined dolphins for me forever, you realize. I look at one now and don't think "Aww, Flipper!" Instead I think, "Horny bastard. Stay away!"
Carrie Leigh: Frank the creepy ass owlcarrie_leigh on September 24th, 2008 06:25 pm (UTC)

I consider it my civic duty to tell most people (angelic 8 year-old girls notwithstanding) of exactly how EVIL dolphins really are.
Sharlenemynuet on September 24th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
Well, everybody needs a hobby. :))
cricket52579 on September 24th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
Umm, I must have missed this discussion, but...what happened on your honeymoon that makes you dislike dolphins???
Carrie Leigh: The Winchesters look disgustedcarrie_leigh on September 24th, 2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
Prepare yourself. It's not pretty. ;)


(And I adore bathtub James.)
cricket52579 on September 24th, 2008 06:55 pm (UTC)
OMG........ *snort* I'm so sorry, but that liitle tale made me giggle. I can imagine that I would freak out if it happened to me, though. But look on the bright side, at least you weren't being humped (or chomped) by a great white. ;P

Carrie Leigh: Vengeful Dolphinscarrie_leigh on September 24th, 2008 06:56 pm (UTC)
I can laugh about it now.

Of course, not enough to go pet a dolphin or anything, but...yeah.
seegrim: A is for amazingseegrim on September 24th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
I want to defend the dolphin, but I've never been molested by one, so I'll just be quiet over here in my corner...
Carrie Leigh: miss grumpy pantscarrie_leigh on September 24th, 2008 06:44 pm (UTC)
Yeah, you will. After you've been humped by a dolphin, you can tell me how sweet they are.

Elle: disney mulanelvishly on September 24th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
Every so often, you post something about dolphins (well, to be honest, this is the first time in quite a while; although I do remember the post with the picture...) and, in my mind, they become less and less approachable. :P
Carrie Leigh: the queen is not amusedcarrie_leigh on September 24th, 2008 06:43 pm (UTC)
Approach away. If you want to be molested. :P
anethema_deviceanethema_device on September 24th, 2008 06:42 pm (UTC)
I really need to introduce you to Gareth, he hates Dolphins too...

I dread to think what happened hun *hugs*
Carrie Leigh: a rainbow diescarrie_leigh on September 24th, 2008 06:43 pm (UTC)
Brendan: Girl Genius - Jager Ho Yazbrendanm720 on September 24th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC)

*pat pat*

She'll be disillusioned soon enough.

Keeks: life is toughbaby_k21 on September 24th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
Wow, I've never met anyone who hates dolphins as much as I do.
Carrie Leigh: Extremely stubborn and suspicioucarrie_leigh on September 25th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
Solidarity, sister.
Keeksbaby_k21 on September 25th, 2008 03:44 am (UTC)
dragonsangel68: TW - Edward Adorkable Laughingdragonsangel68 on September 24th, 2008 11:27 pm (UTC)
*pats* It must have taken all your strength to not tell her how friendly dolphins could be *giggles*
Carrie Leigh: bitter lemonadecarrie_leigh on September 25th, 2008 03:29 am (UTC)
SO close.
O Demanding One: Express: Tiggeriffic!heyurs on September 25th, 2008 03:02 am (UTC)

*LOL* OK, you & Celeste have just made my day with these chickenses stories. I was cracking up that I am the only one so far that loves ALL chickenses no matter what! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I told her I'd go with her and do the hugging and hand-holding and now do you need me to distract her from the dolphins? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You ladies are lovely and you have made my day AND night. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *hugs you for the dolphin story* Oh MY! :D

*goes off cackling*

Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on September 25th, 2008 03:24 am (UTC)
So glad I could make you smile. :)