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13 September 2008 @ 07:17 pm
If I were a pet, I'd ask to be put down  
I'm sick.

Food poisoning perhaps?  This on top of feeling cranky, hormonal and having a crushing headache.  Completely icky.  And I've found everyone and everything gets on my last nerve, lately.  I've felt talentless, replaceable, and about a breath away from saying something really awful to everyone I've talked to for the last few days.

So what do I do?  Count my blessings.  Even if I don't wanna and it kills me.  *pouty face*

talking on the phone for hours about nothing
Ethan and Aaron discussing whether or not Lando Calrissian is a bad guy
writing with friends
posting on live journal
commenting on livejournal
getting reviews for stories
sneak hugs from Ethan
cuddles from AJ
devotionals on 2ormore
rice crackers
wasabi peas
Katie Bell, the black lab
checking a ticky box
crossing off things from my to do list
real, honest hugs
helping those in need
being needed
sugar-free non-fat vanilla lattes
Splenda (I don't care if it kills me, God help me, I love those little yellow packets)
having the windows open and the air conditioning off
hearing my kids laugh
someone else telling me how polite my boys are
when my children don't whine
a blank day in the day planner
gmail notifier
visual representations
The Office
my new barstools!
a place for everything and everything in its place
leaves turning colors
pumpkins (not eating them though, because gross)
diet coke
Sales at Old Navy
Dr. Cox's rants
clean sheet day
cuddling with Nolan
cafe au lait
homemade cards
real mail
a good haircut
shoes - any kind, I'm not picky
Ethan arguing with his father that bad guys are more interesting than good guys (wonder where he gets that?)
feeling normal
having a good attitude
relief of pain
entire episodes of TV on DVD
Jensen ackles
wearing jewelry
purchasing rather than shopping
black and white photographs
when someone else cooks dinner
Ethan perpetually writing "books"
calls from my mom
hearing about my neices and nephews
baby carrots
My Daddy
artichoke hearts
pretty hand towels
decorative soaps
scented candles
Raspberry Lemonade blistex
falling asleep with Nolan's hand on my back
my bed
birds singing (but not in the early morning, cause ugh)

There.  Marginally better.

EDIT:  This is my list from 2 years ago.  Huh.

I am:: bed
I feel:: discontentdiscontent
I hear:: Supernatural - S3
justin_muove on September 14th, 2008 12:45 am (UTC)
I love that you did this. This is an example.

And I hope you feel better soon. :(
justin_muove on September 14th, 2008 12:46 am (UTC)
And it was completely accidental that I commented from this journal... ;)
Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on September 14th, 2008 01:38 am (UTC)
He makes me smile. His default icon (well, all of em, really) is ADORABLE.

Edited at 2008-09-14 01:38 am (UTC)
justin_muove on September 14th, 2008 01:38 am (UTC)
I like it too. *pokes it* Yep. It is adorable. ;)
Numbaby: Cornynumbaby on September 14th, 2008 12:46 am (UTC)
You. You are not, nor could you ever be talentless, let alone replaceable. You're the only one of you that I've, that we've got, and you are treasured beyond measure.

And I've said before, part of the reason we have friends is that we can blow up at them and know they'll be there to forgive it and get on with things later, and that they can do the same to you, right? Venting is healthy, everyone has to do it.

I've got to go to church now but I'll be around later if you want me ;)
goeungurl: hugsgoeungurl on September 14th, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
*huggles* That's a great list. I love have The Office and Jim/Pam made it up there. I think after that my favs would be Ethan's "book-writing" and falling asleep w/ Nolan's hand on your back.

And you are definitely irreplaceable and one of the most talented writers I know. Chin up. *loves and passes Excedrin PM*
goeungurl: Office: jim smilegoeungurl on September 14th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
PS. If you want to feel just how talented you are, I'll totally take a study break and do a round of tags w/ you b/c I just miss you that much. Just ping. :)
Carrie Leighcarrie_leigh on September 16th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
We should definitely do something soon. Really soon. :D
dragonsangel68: Hugsdragonsangel68 on September 14th, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
I hope you're feeling better really, really soon *hugs* I love your list!
seegrimseegrim on September 14th, 2008 12:51 am (UTC)
Aw, Carrie. I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. You know I love and adore you, and I'm sorry if I helped contribute to the crankiness. :D
Carrie Leigh: Laverne and Shirleycarrie_leigh on September 16th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
I love and adore you, too, if I don't tell you often enough. :)
Kate: Heart Stringmugglechump on September 14th, 2008 01:22 am (UTC)

10 Things That I Love About You:
-Cute Kid Stories. They always make my day better.
-That when you're feeling really low you can still find 100 things that make you happy.
-That you plot against bunnies and a concrete owl.
-That you live your faith.
-Your wit. I'm envious of it, honestly.
-That you have a happy marriage. Not perfect, not without it's bumps in the road, but real and good.
-Pansy, Roger, Ginny, Rose, Parvati, and even Michael. All different characters with different quirks and traits. All lovely to read and play with.
-That you share so much of yourself with 'us', the many people who love you without ever having met you face to face.
-That you don't care for the outdoors, but you go anyway because people you love love it.
-That you're a real mom, not leaving the TV to raise your boys.
Carrie Leigh: holding handscarrie_leigh on September 16th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Kate. You know, I posted this before I knew of all the messiness of the last few days. I appreciate you, too. And your characters, but YOU most of all.

Sharlenemynuet on September 14th, 2008 01:24 am (UTC)
Splenda is love. Did I ever tell you the story of Splenda and the Health Food Clerk?
Carrie Leigh: overeducatedcarrie_leigh on September 14th, 2008 01:36 am (UTC)
You have not. Tell us a story?
Sharlenemynuet on September 14th, 2008 01:48 am (UTC)
Okay. So I was in the health food store, looking at natural sweetners because I'd heard Stevia lasts for-freaking-ever since you only need to use a drop at a time or something, and Splenda is relatively expensive. The clerk came over to help me, and I explained.

Clerk: Ohhh, you don't want to use too much of that Splenda.
Me: Oh?
Clerk: Do you know, they make it in a lab, and they alter one of the molecules so it's like chlorine!
Me: Well, chlorine's in salt, y'know, NaCl, so--
Clerk: Is it really??
Me: ... Yes. Yes, it is.
Clerk: Are you using sea salt? Because that's got a lot less impurities in it!
Me: ...
nbaeker: sweetnbaeker on September 14th, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
Oh... You are amazing and wonderful...

Do I need to make you a cape to match your boys'? You're awesome, and I *adore* you. I honestly cannot express enough how much I admire you. Did you know that your stories at FIA were among the ones that I first read? They were part of the reason that I was so drawn into the D/G love.

There is no way that you are talentless.... or replaceable. You're Carrie. and whenever I think of Persephone in the myths I think of you, and smile.
I'm just me: yellow rosesairmidm on September 14th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
You are irreplaceable, Carrie! I adore you, you know! I do hope you feel better soon. I love the list and that you could sit down and make it when you don't feel well.
Elle Blessingwayelle_blessing on September 14th, 2008 06:57 am (UTC)

You're loved 'n things.
maureen: Slytherin Hate Allmaureen on September 14th, 2008 02:53 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure I can find a way to express the love I have for you eloquently enough. Seriously, Carrie.

Talentless and replaceable is utter crap and as for being irritable and saying awful things? Sometimes that's just FUN. I mean, as along as you don't live in that world (and you don't), I think visiting it from time to time is kind of healthy. If you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, find a friend or two who you can say the rotten things to (about them, about others) and who will laugh and understand. Email me a list of awful things if you want. You don't even have to tell me who they are about. Get the poison out! It's better than letting eat you up.
pipperstormspipperstorms on September 14th, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
Carrie, I know that I don't really know you, but I do know you're an amazing person. The way you read a story is great, the emotions you find to throw behind the characters is absolutely brilliant. Your writing can make me laugh and smile, as do many of the stories you choose to share,( even though I haven't seen them, your kids are adorable!) I was having a rough day a few days back and I came up with this to make me feel better:


Hold on to what you believe in
Open your eyes to the opportunities around you
Protect who you are
Enjoy everyday, because it is a gift.

I hope it helps some :-)
Carrie Leigh: Carrie in Flowerscarrie_leigh on September 14th, 2008 09:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. :)