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28 October 2011 @ 09:00 pm
Proof Positive That I'm ACTUALLY a Little Bit Off.  
Some of you may think, "That Carrie. There's just something off about her. Something not quite right."

Me, too, y'all. But now rather than a vague notion that I had an overdeveloped sense of whimsy - that I was a little short and had a barrage of different things that irk me, including stone statuary, gourds, woodland creatures and tapioca pudding - now I've found that there's ACTUALLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.


You see, I've been having pretty severe back pain for about eight months. At first I blamed it on a musical I did last Spring. Fricking dancing, you know? But then I went to a doctor, then another doctor and yet another doctor, and finally, one of the doctors said, "Let's get some x-rays taken."

I said, "Oh, my goodness! How fun! Let's do that!"

*snort*

No, what I really said was probably something along the lines of, "Oh, crap. Do I hafta?"

In any case, I had them taken, and it turns out that not only am I short, have a crooked nose and a tendency to lose and gain the same twenty pounds every year, now I find out that one of my legs is shorter than the other.

Eight millimeters shorter, to be exact. Bigger than a pea, smaller than a blueberry. And I have a mild case of Scoliosis. AND I have a reverse cervical curve.

Well, crap.

It's a wonder I can even function at all, right? ;)

The doctor (bless his sweet little redheaded heart) said it would be best if I wore only flat shoes. In reply, I laughed. Loudly. Ninety percent of the shoes in my closet are at least 2 1/2 inches. I'm short. I need a little help in the height department.

So he gave me a little wedge to put in my shoe. My left shoe. He also started talking about how we were going to fix my neck (which doesn't hurt even a little) and I held up my hand and said, "Let's do one thing at a time, okay? Let me get used to the gimp leg before you put me in traction or whatever the hell you're gonna do, okay, buddy?"

I said that, but much more nicely. That was the gist, though.

So yeah. I'm actually thinking of going as Igor for Halloween and really playing up the deficiency.

Not really.

Anyway, that's what's up. Last night, I said, "Nolan! I only need EIGHT MORE MILLIMETERS!"

To which he replied, "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

So everything's totally normal. Worry not, World. We're gonna be fine over here.
 
 
I feel:: lethargiclethargic
I hear:: Game 7 of the World Series
 
 
 
Kate: Bunny Quite Enoughmugglechump on October 29th, 2011 02:59 am (UTC)
You need a good chiropractor. Legs being different lengths are pretty common, and a lot of the time a chiropractor can fix it over time.

Flats. Pfft.
Carrie Leigh: awesome shoescarrie_leigh on October 29th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
Dude, I see the chiropractor more than I see my husband. And it's helping.

Yeah, flats. As if.
Elle Blessingway: Text: Heels Biggerelle_blessing on October 29th, 2011 03:25 am (UTC)
I actually got wide eyes and blinked when he said that you should only wear flats. Like, and my heart might have skipped a beat.

A woman should not be deprived of fabulous, heeled shoes.

I'm glad you took a stand.

(Also, Nolan wins XD)
Nokomisnokomis305 on October 29th, 2011 03:56 am (UTC)
Psh, legs being the same length is overrated anyhow.

One time my sister went to the doctor with a cold and walked out with a diagnosis of scoliosis. He was listening to her lungs and was like "So how about that scoliosis of yours" and she was like "Um what?" /kind of a funny story.
nbaekernbaeker on October 29th, 2011 05:03 am (UTC)
Eeek!


But yes, you will be fabulous.

I mean... Fine.


No no, I definitely mean fabulous. It's a given, with you.
Not a lady at allcosmo_jenny on October 29th, 2011 10:45 am (UTC)
It is kind of amazing what a pain in the a** 8 millimeters can be.
Sylviaticklethepear on October 29th, 2011 11:50 am (UTC)
:)
Mala13oct on October 29th, 2011 06:18 pm (UTC)
Flats. *snorts*

You're not short girl. I'm four feet ten inches tall. Now that's short. And I can dance in six inch heels. The two facts are totally related.
Jessica K Malfoy: heels bigger than yourjessicakmalfoy on October 29th, 2011 10:26 pm (UTC)
thank goodness he gave you the lift thingy! flats??? nooooo only on casual day!!!!!!!
Brendan: BSG - Comic Cottle - Frakking Hypochondrbrendanm720 on October 30th, 2011 04:29 pm (UTC)
I had some serious lower back pain last summer...

It ends up that one of my legs is about 1/8" shorter than the other. My DO had me stick a thing in my heel and put me on some neat drugs and everything was good in a month or two.

So, I feel your pain.
O Demanding One: Express: Holy Crap!heyurs on October 30th, 2011 08:09 pm (UTC)

2 1/2 inches, Carrie?! :O I'd kill myself. Flats do fine by me. Whew!

You are NOT old. Hush. Please!


deedsk_tx on November 4th, 2011 08:35 pm (UTC)
Whether it's a shorter leg or a shoulder that happens to be a good inch lower than the other one (in my fabulous Scoliosis case) we 'curved' and 'twisted' girls ROCK!!