?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
01 July 2011 @ 12:53 pm
Ode To My Behind  
I have long pondered
that it is not fair
when I'm unable to lose inches
off my derriere.

I've though long and hard
about it's size
and conlude that it has much
to do with fries.

Don't get me wrong,
I like having hips.
It's just that they increase
with what passes my lips.

Exercise, of course
might help.
The thought of which
makes me yelp.

I really wish
I wanted to run.
(You know some people
do that for fun!?)

Alas I fear
this will not be the case
I'll only run
If I'm being chased.

So if you see me
out and around,
I implore you please
tell me, 'Put the cookie down.'

Until I do
the scale won't move
my measurements
they won't improve.

I wouldn't care
except my cellulite
won't seem to leave
without a fight.

And I'm a pacifist.



*Fin*
 
 
I feel:: busybusy
I hear:: Some lame Ashton Kutcher movie
 
 
 
Brendan: Simpsons - Mr. Burns - Excellentbrendanm720 on July 1st, 2011 07:02 pm (UTC)
This.
Jandy the Gnome Whisperer: Brave - Meridajandjsalmon on July 1st, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
*giggles*

You're awesome. That is all.
slitherhither: ron_sufferslitherhither on July 1st, 2011 07:23 pm (UTC)
Alas, artists must suffer in order to create!
with a head full of foliage: skinny eatingkitty_mrowr on July 1st, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
AMEN.
Laura: temptationdream_mancer on July 1st, 2011 07:57 pm (UTC)
I showed this to my mom. It is now printed and hanging in by her computer so she can read it when she needs a laugh (or is munching on cookies and needs to stop.)
Comic Book Goddess: rob - bare armsrainpuddle13 on July 1st, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
BRAVO!

It's so true, every word of it!
Kate: Mad Ninja Skillsmugglechump on July 2nd, 2011 05:01 am (UTC)
HEEEEEEE. So true.
stardust_20: Assorted - butterflystardust_20 on July 2nd, 2011 12:21 pm (UTC)
*hee*. I love it!
Mala13oct on July 11th, 2011 10:31 pm (UTC)
LOVES YOUS!! <<<333333

God you nailed this one head on!! :)