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01 October 2010 @ 08:25 am
Whatever will I do?  
(Carrie and the children run through the morning routine, hair combing, breakfast eating, tooth brushing, and she explains the schedule for later in the day.)

Carrie. So when you get home from school, I'll have packed your bag and I'll take you out to Grandma's and Grandpa's house for the weekend.

Ethan. (Frowns) But Dad's gone.

Carrie. (has only had a sip of coffee at this point in the morning) Mmmhm.

Ethan. If dad's gone, then who'll protect you if the zombies attack? I'm in charge of that when he's gone.

Carrie. There's going to be a zombie attack this weekend? And you're in charge of what, exactly?

Ethan. There might be a zombie attack this weekend. And I'm in charge of shooting them. You don't know how to shoot a gun.

Carrie. And you do?

Ethan. I can figure it out. If you're not protected, they'll get you.

Aaron. (Munches on toast) Makes sense.

Carrie. (under breath) None of this makes sense.

Ethan. I'll stay, just in case.

Carrie. No, pumpkin, I'll be fine.

Ethan. (Frowns) Are you sure?

Carrie. (Wishes to God for having drunk more coffee before having this conversation) Yes. Katie and Abbey (the Labrador retrievers) are here. They'll protect me.

Ethan. Katie would, but Abbey will be worthless.

Aaron. (munches on toast) That's true.

****

The sad thing is, I actually thought about it for a minute. Like, CONSIDERED what I might do in the case of a zombie attack. Clearly, I need psychological help and more sleep.

But they were right about Abbey. She's a total love, but if the house were under attack, she'd be huddled up with me, tongue lolling and perfectly unconcerned about any threat. I adore her, but a fierce protector, she ain't.

I'll be announcing the winners of September's contest and October's offering after I emerge from the last weekend of the show! Thank you to all who entered!
 
 
I am:: at the bar
I feel:: sleepysleepy
I hear:: Sara Bareilles new album
 
 
 
Jandy the Gnome Whispererjandjsalmon on October 1st, 2010 01:47 pm (UTC)

You know, I must applaud them for having a 'worst case scenario' planned for. That's a pair of very responsible boys you've got there. I shiver to think of what will happen at our house when a zombie apocalypse hsppens.

Carrie Leigh: Dolphins are gay sharkscarrie_leigh on October 1st, 2010 01:54 pm (UTC)
I suggest you put a plan in place. Jessica. It's the right thing to do. ;)
Jandy the Gnome Whispererjandjsalmon on October 1st, 2010 01:58 pm (UTC)
You're absolutely right. I broached the subject over oatmeal. Apparently they will 'wow' them with their ninja skilz. I knew there was a reason we needed to buy guns. I'm a bit wary of The effectiveness of their Kung Fu (Ben's word choice btw).
Carrie Leigh: wine is cheaper than therapycarrie_leigh on October 1st, 2010 02:09 pm (UTC)
Ah. Well, good. It's well known that zombies are completely befuddled by grade school Kung Fu.

Rock on, Salmons.
Ayla: NCIS - Puff - Annoyedabitofayla on October 1st, 2010 02:21 pm (UTC)
I don't have dogs that would defend me. Nor do I have a gun. Nor a baseball bat. If a zombie apocalypse should occuer, I'm what people would call "Screwed".

However, I do have a coffee table that I could push them over. Bruised shins are a bitch sometimes. PTL
Brendan: Little Nash Rambler (Beep Beep)brendanm720 on October 1st, 2010 02:25 pm (UTC)
If you have a car, you have that cheapie wrench they give you to change tires with... If you have no car, you'd be amazed just how easily it is to find a makeshift zombie-killing cudgel these days...
Ayla: Intriguedabitofayla on October 1st, 2010 02:37 pm (UTC)
I'm barely lucky my car has what's needed.

Oh. I have a shovel. I have no idea why I have a shovel since it doesn't snow.

We are so serious about this. lol. Leave it to Carrie to make her f-list have a serious conversation about zombies.
Brendan: Bill Nye the Science Guybrendanm720 on October 1st, 2010 03:54 pm (UTC)
Oh. I have a shovel. I have no idea why I have a shovel since it doesn't snow.

Ah yes, the shovel. I assume it's a grain scoop, since you mention snow (or lack thereof).

That should work nicely if it's steel. If it's aluminum, you may have to put some oomph behind it and whack the zombie a few extra times. :-)

We are so serious about this. lol. Leave it to Carrie to make her f-list have a serious conversation about zombies.

Zombies are SRS BZNS. Leik Whoa.


Hyacinth Girl: Dokuro Chaneustacia_vye28 on October 2nd, 2010 01:09 am (UTC)
This is why they had all those "end of the world" blogging things! So you can teach others what to do in a zombie apocalypse!
Brendan: Trek - Dr. McCoy - She's Dead Jimbrendanm720 on October 1st, 2010 02:23 pm (UTC)
You're from Texas and you don't know how to shoot a shotgun?

[shakes head]

If you like, I can dig up that "Zombie Attack Emergency Plan" that one of the universities here in FL drew up. It'll greatly assist the boys in their own Emergency Plan prearations...
Sharlenemynuet on October 1st, 2010 02:47 pm (UTC)
I have a crowbar in my top dresser drawer in case of fire or zombies. It's all cool.
Elle: asljdbsajkgbelvishly on October 1st, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC)
LOL. I am now imagining the boys in your household holding a secret meeting about the hierarchy of Protecting Mom Under A Zombie Attack.
seegrimseegrim on October 1st, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
I'm not afraid of zombies at all. I have four kids.

Aaron and Ethan are, as ever, adorable. :)
goeungurl: hugsgoeungurl on October 1st, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC)
I think that may be my favorite kid story yet. Good luck on the show! Break a leg!
Carmenhumbuggirl on October 1st, 2010 05:06 pm (UTC)
It's perfectly natural to wonder what you'd do in the event of a zombie attack. Perfectly. Because if you need psychological help then so do I.
tracyj23tracyj23 on October 1st, 2010 05:24 pm (UTC)
Zombies would be the least of my worries. Given MY children it would be a blessing to host some zombies while they're away! (I do love them, really. Sometimes anyway.)

We really need to get on our worst case scenario planning. My dog would be no help either - she'd run up, lick them to death (but the zombies are already dead so how would that help?) and beg for food like they were her lifelong buddies. I think I'm sunk.
(Anonymous) on October 1st, 2010 08:44 pm (UTC)
Carrie (and her two handsome, charming, genius sons)and all her f-list friends CRACK! ME! UP! What I would LOVE is to get you all in one room and just listen and laugh. Carrie's Mom (and of course unbiased grandmother to the sons).
Kate: Ash: Laughingmugglechump on October 1st, 2010 10:02 pm (UTC)
I love your boys. Oh my gosh. Such serious, protective little men.

No one gives a crap if I get attacked by zombies...
jamezilla1jamezilla1 on October 2nd, 2010 01:54 am (UTC)
I don't know if I regret more coming in so late to discover this conversation, or coming in and actually reading to the end... YOU KNOW the only way to be sure is a DOUBLE SHOT to the HEAD
The Mellifluous Leaper 182: Hamster - Heartsleaper182 on October 2nd, 2010 06:07 am (UTC)
Awww! They're so sweet. <3
sereniteys: fab 4sereniteys on October 2nd, 2010 12:40 pm (UTC)
Lol. Least they planned to protect you and not use you as canon fodder or zombie bait.

My friends and I haven't had long, detailed, slightly megalomaniac discussions over what we would do in the Zombie Apocalypse. That would be weird. *eyes dart*