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17 July 2010 @ 09:09 pm
"It's so fluffy, I'm gonna DIE!"  
† I am uninspired by the blue strawberry. *frowns* Everything I've started out writing is blerghy. I do like the quote, though. Also, did not get kicked out on the first round. *confetti throw*

† Mosquitoes are from the devil. I've been having a weird reaction to them this year. The bite area gets really red and swollen and hot, and then it hurts for a few days. Also - bug spray is gross.

† Made strawberry balsamic jam, two batches of blueberry peach, and plain peach jam over the past few days. I think I'm done being the pioneer woman, for awhile.

† It's impossible to keep my home clean and orderly with the boys home. They are a whirling tornado of sloppiness that have waaaaay more energy than I do. If I told them to clean up every mess they make, I'd just be cleaning constantly. And yelling all the time... so... School starts in a month. *nods*

† My house is too big. By the time I'm done really giving it a good go, cleaning wise, it's time to start over. No, Nolan, I don't want to move.

† Saw Despicable Me Friday with the kiddos. I laughed a little, I suppose. And little Agnes was cuuuuute ("It's so fluffy, I'm gonna DIE!"), but overall, I'd give it a meh.

† My mom's in Russia right now, and they didn't take their cell phones or laptop, so are unreachable for the next 10 days. It's not like I NEED my mother; I'm 37 years old for crying out loud, but knowing I can't talk to her is irritating. She and Tom are taking a cruise down a river in Russia, though. Sounds cool, right?

And now, for your reading pleasure, here's a story in which I humiliate both myself and a fourteen year-old boy simultaneously. *curtsies*

So a few weeks ago, I was carrying boxes into the post office and a big gust of wind (as we are wont to have here on the high plains) blew the skirt of my sundress up. I flashed some older gentleman and one middle aged lady a view of my leopard print panties, blushed at the guy holding open the door for me, and conducted my business without any further embarrassment.

That's not the story I want to tell. It does INFORM this one, though.

So the other day I hurriedly dress after the pool, I throw on a bra and panties and a sundress. I pick one whose skirt will NOT fly up, should I encounter any stiff breezes, and go to the grocery store. Just as I was wheeling my very full cart to the checkout, I felt something go "pop" and metal hit my face.

It was my bra strap.

The brassiere I'd chosen was one of those fancy affairs from Victoria's Secret - a model they call their "Very Sexy." Which, you know, would be fine, if the little straps stayed fastened to the bra like they're supposed to. When they don't, the lopsided look that happens is decidedly NOT "Very Sexy." Very Disturbing, maybe, but not sexy.

So rather than leave my cart of full groceries outside the restroom, go in, disrobe completely and fix the stupid bra strap, I decide I'm going to tough it out and pay, get in my car and go home, rest of the errands be damned.

So I do.

Almost.

I put my purse over that shoulder, to sort of camoflage the fact that the bra strap is flailing around my shoulder; I tuck it in and sort of put my arm across my chest. At this point, I'm sure I look like Quasimodo's little sister, but I'm soldiering on. Eye on the prize. Get to the car.

The bag boy is barely old enough to work; seriously, the kid looked YOUNG. I was helping him put all fourteen million of the bags in the back of the Sequoia, and he was chatting happily, oblivious to the fact that one of my arms was a chicken wing, holding up my unratcheted breast. I was about to close the back when he picks something up off the ground and says, "Oh, you dropped this."

It was the effing bra strap. It had come undone on both sides and fell on the asphalt while I was unloading the grocery sacks.

He looked at it.

He looked at me.

Then he looked at my boobs. His eyes widened.

He shoved the strap at me, I took it and we both blushed scarlet.

Nothing more was said.

I hope he didn't think I was some old woman pervert, suggesting something in the parking lot with a "Very Sexy" bra strap snare.

*Giggles* That's just ridiculous. Hang on and let me wipe my eyes free of all the tears from crying so hard at the thought. Or crying because more people than I want to in this town have seen my lingerie this month.

I'm going to try and make August 'wardrobe malfunction free'.
 
 
I feel:: calmcalm
I hear:: Abbey Snoring
 
 
 
Hyacinth Girl: Lenore with Haloeustacia_vye28 on July 18th, 2010 02:24 am (UTC)
I'm not laughing at this story. No, I'm not.





Okay, I totally am. :D
Carrie Leigh: Muttleycarrie_leigh on July 18th, 2010 02:32 am (UTC)
:D It's the only good thing that's come out of this story. The laughs.
(no subject) - eustacia_vye28 on July 18th, 2010 02:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
Leigh: Bloody hellleigh_adams on July 18th, 2010 02:42 am (UTC)
The blue strawberry does nothing for me, either. I've been staring at it for the past half hour, waiting for the lightbulb to turn on.

*glances up*

Nope, still off.

And I'm glad that I'm not the only one whose Very Sexy strap has come undone at an inopportune time! Mine came undone at Gold Cup, and I was wearing the straps criss-crossed over my back, so my left boob was slightly higher than my right.

TMI, yes, I know. I'll shut up now.
Carrie Leigh: Ginny's not impressedcarrie_leigh on July 18th, 2010 02:48 am (UTC)
"Slightly," she says..

I yearned for "slightly."

There was a big damn difference, let me tell you what.
Jessica K Malfoy: pretty: red tea cupjessicakmalfoy on July 18th, 2010 02:45 am (UTC)
bwahahahahahahahaha!

that was just too funny (in a i'm sorry it happened kind of way). at least you weren't wearing thong panties?
Carrie Leigh: nice asscarrie_leigh on July 18th, 2010 02:49 am (UTC)
Yup. Thank God for small favors. :D
Ayla: Mischieviousabitofayla on July 18th, 2010 03:21 am (UTC)
There isn't an icon that fully conveys how hard I am laughing right now.

TGFSB... Thank God for sports bras. Of course, when wearing sundresses that's not the thing to wear. This is why I don't wear dresses a lot. Thanks for more examples on why I am not very lady like, Carrie.

*hugs*

It seriously popped you in the face?
Carrie Leigh: Glamour Girlcarrie_leigh on July 18th, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)
In. The. Face.

;)
Comic Book Goddess: KStew - Gigglesrainpuddle13 on July 18th, 2010 03:32 am (UTC)
*giggles*

Ah, why I'll always wear standard issue comfy no nonsense bras!

Carrie Leigh: Beautiful Womencarrie_leigh on July 18th, 2010 03:39 am (UTC)
Well, I'm thinking of changing my brand, I can tell you that. ;)
(no subject) - rainpuddle13 on July 18th, 2010 03:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - carrie_leigh on July 18th, 2010 03:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rainpuddle13 on July 18th, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Nokomis: lyn-z cutenokomis305 on July 18th, 2010 03:32 am (UTC)
*dies* Oh man, the fact that he HANDED YOU YOUR OWN BRA STRAP. You are my hero.

But convertible-strap bras are the WORST for popping at inopportune times. I'll admit to trying to surreptitiously re-attach one in public a time or two. :\
Carrie Leigh: Corsetcarrie_leigh on July 18th, 2010 03:43 am (UTC)
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.

Poor kid. I probably scarred him for life.

There was no way to re-attach it without taking my dress off, taking the BRA off, and threading the little clasp through the loops. Stupid expensive piece of crap. ;)
Not a lady at all: pic: sexy lady 2cosmo_jenny on July 18th, 2010 09:01 am (UTC)
*giggles*
Well, at least, you didn't tuck your dress into your panties. *coughs*
Carrie Leigh: advice in bad prosecarrie_leigh on July 19th, 2010 05:00 am (UTC)
Yes. Thank GOd for small favors. :)
Carmenhumbuggirl on July 18th, 2010 09:23 am (UTC)
LOL. Sorry but... lol.
(Deleted comment)
Carrie Leigh: Astoriacarrie_leigh on July 19th, 2010 05:01 am (UTC)
I LOVED Agnes. All the gitls were kids of adorable, for sure.
maureen: BV - Faith smilemaureen on July 18th, 2010 02:46 pm (UTC)
Carrie, you never really struck me as Cougar material...
Carrie Leigh: redheaded pinupcarrie_leigh on July 19th, 2010 05:02 am (UTC)
Ah, but that's how I lure them in. With my lopsided feminine wiles...
JEB: lolzfilia_umbrae on July 18th, 2010 02:50 pm (UTC)
Oh that kid! I can just imagine the story he's going to be telling his friends later, wide eyed and with lost of excited gesticulation. You probably made his day!

The embarrassment factor sucks, though....sorry for such a rough streak of luck, hon!
Carrie Leigh: 333 I'm only half evilcarrie_leigh on July 19th, 2010 05:03 am (UTC)
Oh, you know, you take it in stride, really.

And what are the odds he'll remember me with a sports bra, dark glasses and a hat the next time I go in?
Elle Blessingwayelle_blessing on July 18th, 2010 04:15 pm (UTC)
*giggles* oh man, that kid is still blushing XDXD

I like the Very Sexy bras that have their straps firmly attached and aren't adjustable. I was always afraid of the ones that do adjust. It seems very complicated XD

*SMOOSH*
Carrie Leigh: Carrie Dr. Whocarrie_leigh on July 19th, 2010 05:04 am (UTC)
I'm thinking I'm going to sew that one together. I never use the convertible aspect of it, anyway.
slitherhither: snape_out_of_seasonslitherhither on July 18th, 2010 07:36 pm (UTC)
HA HA HA HA HA!

Hey, at least you have interesting underwear to flash your community with! :D 'Course, that means they're even more likely to always remember it. :/

But think of the memorable moments you're adding to people's lives. You're a gift, truly. *smiles*
Carrie Leigh: Slytherin ru gonna drink that?carrie_leigh on July 19th, 2010 05:06 am (UTC)
That's what I'm telling them the next time the wind blows my skirt up. "HEY! Slitherhither said it was a GIFT! Let's see a little gratitude, people!"

Maybe somebody will throw some change and I'll make a little money. ;)
sue_bridehead on July 19th, 2010 02:23 am (UTC)
That was too funny! And it would only come from Carrie-Land.

You may as well give up on keeping the house tidy while the kids are home. I never could do it. I like what Phyllis Diller said: "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
Carrie Leigh: my twisted ever aftercarrie_leigh on July 19th, 2010 05:08 am (UTC)
Carrie-Land is a happy place, full of unicorns and rainbows.

And merlot.

I've just about given up on keeping the house clean. I'm trying to do zones, at the moment. :)
(no subject) - sue_bridehead on July 19th, 2010 06:16 am (UTC) (Expand)