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11 April 2008 @ 08:16 am
You all know how I'm crazy, right?  
 *heh*  I can hear the chorus of "Yeeeees," from the f-list.

Anyhow, the crazy extends to my husband, as well, I fear.  You all know how I have a  thing against bunnies and squirrels and dolphins?  Well, here we go again.  Same play, Act II.

There's this OWL.  Thankfully it's not a real owl, 'cause I find those kind of creepy, too.  It's a statuary owl.  You know, the concrete kind that people stick in the backyard?  Nolan had one of these when I moved in after we got married.  My first thought back then?  What's my big, dumb, blond, 28 year-old husband doing with the statue of an owl in the backyard?

Well, as you can imagine, there's a story.

Nolan bought our house (Our former house) in 1995 for a steal...  $48,000.  It had had only one owner previous to him, Homer Lee and Bessie McElvaney.  (I kid you not.  Those were actually their names.  We got their mail up until the day we moved- AARP letters and the like.)  Anyhow, they passed away and their daughter (who lived 600 miles away) just wanted to sell it.  To anyone.  So Nolan snapped it up.  It needed lots of work, and he had to buy it as is, as in with all Bessie's crap still in it.  Heinous curtains, panoramic pictures of Homer Lee's platoon in WWII, a variety of different appliances in various stages of disrepair.  He had to pitch a lot of stuff.  Heck, I had to pitch a lot of stuff, and I moved in after he'd lived there for two years.

The day after we got married and I moved to Amarillo from DFW (CULTURE shock, anyone?), I began almost immediately putting things that didn't make the cut into a pile.  The decopage picture of a bullfighter.  The picture of John Wayne in the bedroom (IN THE BEDROOM!).  The horrific Garth Brooks color block shirts, western hats and Wranglers, the beer stein on the mantle - all outta there.  

Nolan adjusted brilliantly to the Monet and Renoir prints I put up on the walls, the floral arrangemets on the mantle.  He even made the switch to Levis without too much fuss, but he wouldn't part with the owl.  He WOULD NOT give it up.  

And I loathed that owl.  It's eyes followed me when I was in the backyard.  

So one of my friends stole it.  We did a whole ransom thing.  Pictures of the owl teetering on the precipice of a high wall, threatening note attached.  Nolan didn't think they were funny.  He wanted the owl back.  Fine.  The owl went back to it's home in the flower bed, just outside the back door, where it could pounce on me the minute I walked outside.  I stewed for the next 9 years.

Last Friday, when I was at our old house doing a last walk through and cleaning for the new owners (everyone deserves to move into a clean house), I saw the owl.  Still in the flowerbed, glowering at me.  

I laughed mockingly.  I win, you bastard, I thought.  I outlasted your concrete ass. 

And I was ever so smug about the whole thing.  Until yesterday.  

When Nolan peers through the blinds to the backyard and asks, "Where's the owl?"

(Then the boys have this exchange)
***
Aaron.  What owl?

Ethan.  (eating his dinner, casually, as if this question was asked everyday) Frank.

Aaron.  Oh.  That owl.
***
(What the hell?  They'd named it?  Anyway... )

 I thought, Shoot, darn, heck, son of a gun.  (Or similar.)  I had thought I was home free. 

He made me CALL the new owners and ask if we could come get the abandoned owl this weekend.  She said yes so quickly that my disappointment had to have showed in my voice.  She sounded relieved.  She didn't want that creepy-ass thing in her yard, either, obviously.

So we have to go get 'Frank' tomorrow.  *heavy sigh*  That thing will haunt me to the end of my days.  And he's going to be so SMUG about it, too... His stone beak curved into a smirk.  *shivers*

Yeah, I know.  Cuh- ray- zee.
 
 
I feel:: goodgood
 
 
 
Jandy the Gnome Whisperer: I <3 Speedosjandjsalmon on April 11th, 2008 02:07 pm (UTC)
Firstly - I think it could be all sorts of hot having a picture of the Duke in the beroom. ;) Though it would be more of a turn on if it were a velveteeen portrait of Elvis - but I digress.

He named it FRANK?? LOL! I hope he doesn't give you ANY grief for Colin or Aiden because a MAN naming an inanimate object? HA HA HA!

This made my morning! YAY for barmy Nolan! He fits right in with the rest of us. Maybe he should get an LJ too - he'd likely have a blast. ;)
Carrie Leigh: Cinically Insanecarrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC)
John Wayne in the bedroom? I didn't want him watching.

The boys named it Frank... I don't think Nolan's gone THAT far down the crazy train.

He would have a blast with an LJ, probably. But I have to have SOMETHING just for me!

(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 11th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jandjsalmon on April 11th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 11th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jandjsalmon on April 11th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 11th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - carrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 04:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 11th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - autumnrhythm30 on April 11th, 2008 05:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 12th, 2008 12:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - elle_blessing on April 11th, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 12th, 2008 12:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - airmidm on April 12th, 2008 01:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 12th, 2008 02:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - airmidm on April 12th, 2008 02:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jandjsalmon on April 13th, 2008 12:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
Sharlenemynuet on April 11th, 2008 02:09 pm (UTC)
If you still have those panoramic pctures, I'll take 'em. :D Or, y'know, the local historical society or the troop, too.

As for the owl... Well, at least he lives outside, right?
Carrie Leigh: bitter lemonadecarrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 03:10 pm (UTC)
Those black and white pictures hung in out living room for about five years, til I replaced them with actual art. :)

Then my MIL stole them away to hang in the living room of our cabin. They're pretty cool looking down there!

Heck, yes, he lives outside. He's NOT coming in the house.
Brendan: Stargate - Jack - WTFbrendanm720 on April 11th, 2008 02:14 pm (UTC)
Uh...

It's just a concrete owl. What's the big deal about it?

Though... I like the name.
Carrie Leigh: Dean handcarrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC)
JUST a concrete owl? JUST a concrete owl?

I fear you don't get my sense of whimsy.
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 11th, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - carrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 04:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 12th, 2008 12:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
Jo-Anne Stormjo_anne_storm on April 11th, 2008 02:22 pm (UTC)
*cackles* Oh... Frank the owl! *cackles* It makes me want to invite you to TN just to see your reaction to the free-range guinnies and the cows and horses that come to visit. Not to mention the emu...

*cackles* I possibly shouldn't be having this much fun with the idea... But, gosh... You are such a city girl, aren't you?

Having taken part in the sorting of someone else's lifetime of personal affects, I agree that it can be hell. Some of the things are very interesting, though. I can't imagine the daughter not wanting to have the photos and things sent to her. When we did it for a friend (who is actually still alive, but mouldering away in a nursing home), we separated out anything the family might be interested in, photos, letters, etc. We also had piles of sale-able items and huge piles of trash items. It was a very interesting vacation, sorting through the stuff and finding everything from Disney tickets from the 40s to Chippendales tickets. It makes me give serious thought to parceling out my personal affects when I reach my dotterage so that someone else doesn't have that joy.

That being said... *cackles* FRANK!!!
Carrie Leigh: It was a dark and stormy nightcarrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 03:19 pm (UTC)
Emus are NOT nice.

I had one peck my window at one of those drive-through wildlife centers.

Yes, I'm definitely a city girl. You are who you are, I guess. :)

I guess I should get rid of the Chippendale ticket stubs before I die, then? *snort*

Yes, FRANK. We go and retrieve him tomorrow. :P

(no subject) - elle_blessing on April 11th, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - carrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brendanm720 on April 12th, 2008 12:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
seegrim: beautifulseegrim on April 11th, 2008 02:28 pm (UTC)
The decopage picture of a bullfighter.

I may have hurt something in my chest laughing. I don't know why this struck me as so funny this morning.

I adore your children, in case I haven't told you that before. :)

Sorry about Frank. I do think it's great they named him.
Carrie Leigh: Pfft.carrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 03:16 pm (UTC)
The decoupage bullfighter? The funny thing is that my MIL MADE it. While my FIL was in Vietnam. And when I rejoiced to her that I had finally got rid of it, she said, "Oh. That's too bad. I made it."

I went to Nolan and asked why he hadn't told me that his mother had crafted the horrific thing, and he replied, "It never came up?"

Thanks, big guy.

I mean I would have still pitched it, (We actually took it to a white elephant gift exchange one year. One of our friends has it hanging in his garage) but I wouldn't have gloated about it!
(no subject) - seegrim on April 11th, 2008 03:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - carrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
dragonsangel68dragonsangel68 on April 11th, 2008 02:47 pm (UTC)
Frank couldn't accidentally have a fall or something could he? After all, he'd have to be getting on a bit and birds of that age are known to be a bit clumsy...
Carrie Leigh: bad examplecarrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 03:20 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I like the way you think.

Food for thought...
sue_bridehead on April 11th, 2008 03:13 pm (UTC)
Bring on the crazy - !
OMG, you kill me! I had to share this one with my daughter, and now she says she's got to tell her friends. Soon you'll have a fan club of giggling teenagers! ;) The ransom note was the best!

P.S. I told her the donut story, too. Laughed our butts off.
Carrie Leigh: mauled dolphinscarrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Bring on the crazy - !
It's nice to know that my brand of crazy translates to all ages. :D

I thought the ransome note was funny, too. Pity Nolan didn't. :)
Re: Bring on the crazy - ! - nbaeker on April 11th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Bring on the crazy - ! - carrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Bring on the crazy - ! - brendanm720 on April 12th, 2008 12:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Bring on the crazy - ! - nbaeker on April 12th, 2008 01:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Bring on the crazy - ! - brendanm720 on April 12th, 2008 02:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
Nokomisnokomis305 on April 11th, 2008 06:25 pm (UTC)
Heeee.

A related story: for years my mother had this Buddha statue that she thought was awesome. My father HATED it. Epic battles over Buddha would ensue, involving my father hiding the thing (deep in the storage building, in the far corner of the attic, anywhere that he didn't have to see it) and my mom finding it again and putting it in the dining room or living room or somewhere highly visible.

Eventually I think Buddha got taken to, like, someone else's yard sale and sold. It still comes up in conversation.
Carrie Leigh: 5 pts to Slytherincarrie_leigh on April 11th, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
I completely understand your father's pain.

The only reason I haven't offed the owl is because he would NEVER let it go. I'd be hearing about that owl til the day I die. At least this way I can shut the door and be rid of him. The owl, not my husband. :)
hey you: Halpert60sfreak on April 11th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
Oh dear. Homer and Bessie. John Wayne in the bedroom. Frank the owl. *giggles*

Is it really that odd for men to name inanimate objects? I mean, Sevilla named his iPod Oliver Cromwell, so... :-\
Brendan: Strongbad - Bear Holding a Sharkbrendanm720 on April 12th, 2008 12:36 am (UTC)
I mean, Sevilla named his iPod Oliver Cromwell, so... :-\

Yeah, but that only works on the stripped-down puritanical models that take over England.

:-D
Jazsekuh: Gryffindorjazsekuh on April 12th, 2008 12:26 am (UTC)
My grandma has a similar owl, only it sits in her house. It used to reside downstairs where people could see it and then she moved it up to the TV room. We lived with my grandparents for several years and I grew accustomed to it, even if it was kind of creepy as it watched me while I watched TV. My older cousins once used it to scare one of my younger cousins, and I think to this day that she is terrified of owls.

I suppose I grew accustomed to it because it was no where as creepy as the room of dolls that my grandma keeps. I'm not talking about one or two, I'm talking about an entire room where there is only one small path to walk through.
I'm just me: Taylor *giggle*airmidm on April 12th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
*giggles* Thanks, Carrie! I was in a FOUL mood and read this...nearly died laughing...and feel better. *grin*

I have to agree though. My Daddy had one of those inflatable owls that was supposed to scare the squirrels away...that thing scared the hell out of me when I was younger.